Living by the golf course is something like running through a minefield. Except it probably won't kill you. So maybe it's nothing like it. There are dangers, though.
Watching golfers do inane things like throwing clubs while full-volume cursing at 8 a.m. and breaking my kitchen windows with misfires, I had ample time to think of revenge tactics. Yes, I'm probably an awful person, much like Bob Muntz.
Chocolate Golf Balls
They make these golf ball-shaped chocolates, wrapped in foil so they actually look like golf balls. There’s a bit of haziness around implementation, but I want to see what happens when a golfer hits one accidentally. Could be a win, could be a total flop.
Return Service
Golf balls bounce down the fairway. I hit them back.
What to do with a golf ball collection?! With at least one golf ball lost in my yard every three days during every summer month, that makes… a lot of golf balls. Baskets and baskets of golf balls.
Solution: Scatter them in the rough along a hole, especially in the parts where everyone hits. Watching golfers hunting through dozens of balls for their special Titleist NXT is fantastic.
Sand Trap Wars
This is actually completely unintentional.
I had a pair of cats (only two, not crazy cat lady-style) who saw the sandtrap as a massive outdoor sandbox. So did some of the other neighbors’ pets. The golf course actually had to send out a letter to nearby residents, as if people could ever stop a cat from doing what it wants.
Hit the ball, find a surprise.
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