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El Guapo's First Annual (Women Only) Giant-Ass Burrito Eating Challenge
- by elguapo
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- September 17, 2009
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One of the interns at my work recently challenged me to a 2 lb burrito eating contest. I scoffed at her. "You're entering a man's world, sweetheart. El Guapo will never lose to a woman in anything, especially in an eating contest." The next day we went to Chipotle and ordered burritos weighing in at 2 LBs 1.5 oz and 2 LBs 7.6 oz respectively. Needless to say, Sheila the intern put up a valiant effort but obviously she was no match for the man-sized appetite of El Guapo. I am confident that no woman can beat my record. Therefore I am officially issuing a challenge to all the women of the world. Eat a Chipotle burrito bigger than 2 LB 7.6 oz in one sitting under 45 minutes. I will send a $10 Chipotle gift card to the first woman to upload proof of this accomplishment. Good luck ladies. You're gonna need it.
El Guapos's First Annual (Women Only) Giant-Ass Burrito Eating Challenge
I am officially issuing a challenge to all the women of the world. Eat a Chipotle burrito bigger than 2 LB 7.6 oz in one sitting under 45 minutes. I will send a $10 Chipotle gift card to the first woman to upload a photo as proof of this accomplishment. Good luck ladies.
Sheila the Intern
Sheila looks calm cool and collected, as if she had been receiving training from Kobayashi himself.
The Weigh-in
Sheila’s burrito weighs in at an impressive 2 lbs 1.5 oz.
Burrito ingredients: double chicken, double veggies, double rice, double medium salsa, double pico de gallo, TRIPLE sour cream.
Sheila’s Strategy: “Layer on the sour cream. It has the highest weight-to-volume ratio of all Chipotle items”
The Placing of the wager
The dollar looks so small…
Eating Technique: Drinking Bird
Sheila’s technique: Hold the burrito on table. Do not lift it. Instead move head, face and mouth towards burrito in a similar fashion to one of those drinking bird thingys
Minute 15
Sheila remains calm, cool and collected.
Minute 30
Sheila finishes with Grace.
Minute 35
Clean as a whistle. Final score: Sheila 1 – Burrito 0
Victory Dance
Hooray! I slayed a two pound burrito!
Recommended Study Guides for your Burrito Eating Challenge
How to eat a burrito bigger than your arm
Tips from the master himself (El Guapo)
Biggest Largest and Most Gluttonous Foods
by the late, great Dead C
El Guapo
I try to remain stoic. I look excited in this picture, like I’m ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime but in reality I was scared shitless by the challenge that lied ahead.
El Guapo’s burrito takes the cake at 2 lbs 7.6 oz
Burrito ingredients: double rice, double beans, double corn, double salsa, double pico de gallo, double sour cream (hold the lettuce) TRIPLE meat.
My strategy: Avoid lettuce. It just takes up space. Instead, substitute lettuce for more meat.
The burrito is the size of _?
a) a football
b) a small baby
c) just your average sized taco in Texas
Eating Technique: Hungry Wolf
El Guapo style: Bring burrito to face. Put as much in mouth at one time as possible. Try not to throw up.
Minute 15
At minute 15, I begin to sweat profusely due in part from the salsa, but mostly from the fear…
Minute 30
Double Rice!!!!!! You are my Nemesis!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts so bad.
Minute 35
I finally finish my burrito. I feel like I just ran a marathon. I feel like a champion!
Hooray for gluttony!
Actually it was more of a bittersweet victory — I had conquered my Everest. But I was in so much pain at this point I couldn’t even force a smile…
The Final Standings: El Guapo es Campeon
Sheila is crowned the Office Women’s Burrito Eating Champion while El Guapo takes the Men’s Title. No woman will ever beat El Guapo! Eem-pos-eeb-lay!!
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Hello fellow burrito eating champions! I’d like to make an advanced acceptance of your burrito challenge for when I’m in Chicago for the summer (at least I hope to be, I’m on an internship/job hunt currently…) I don’t want to scare you, but I’ve downed a 7 pound burrito in 1.2 hours at a place called Bandido’s down here in North Carolina, so I THINK I can make this happen :) I’ve even got a picture of me in my XXXL burrito-dominator shirt to prove it (apparently they’e not used to 125 lb girls finishing- no S shirts:[ ) Bust our your stretchy pants cause I’m ready for a challenge!
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Hey Sheila and team – we here at crowdSPRING think our intern Laura is WAY awesomer than yours and can scarf that burrito down in 30 minutes flat…and do 10 jumping jacks when she’s done! Up for the challenge? We’d love to have Sheila and Laura meet at a Chipotle and El Guapo and I can be the official judges. You up for it?
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I wanna work where you work. Do you have a crocheter-in-residence position that needs to be filled?
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