The Stupidest Thing You've Done While Drunk

One birthday I drunk way more than I should have (actually, I think there were several birthdays I drank way more than I should have), and I ended up telling everyone that one of my friends (who was present at the time) was dating this actor who had a penchant for a drug that rhymes with shmocaine. Oh, and did I mention she had told me earlier not to tell anyone? Whoops.

One time, I drunk dialed this guy I had thing for, and I told him I was really sad that we weren’t going out to get pancakes that night— earlier that evening I had expressed a desire to eat pancakes with him. And yes, I was also drunk when I told him we should “go get some pancakes.”

Another time (this was on Halloween), a bunch of us were hanging around in our neighbor’s apartment and someone outside the apartment building starting shining a Maglite into the window of the apartment. Everyone freaked out (thinking it was either the police or a mass murderer), and we all started running away from the window. Needless to say we had all been drinking, and I guess my reaction time was seriously affected because I ended up running into a wall.