Ridiculous Single People- DESPERATION AT ITS BEST

Talk about your Wonder Woman fetish:

Mmmm Pez! Rabid Wonder Woman fan looking for someone in satin tights, fighting for our rights and the old red, white ’n blue. You look like Linda Carter? Big plus. Know all words to theme song? Marry me

Ask for a "unique" hookup?

SWM looking for blind female, any race or age. But of course blind people can’t read-Fix me up with your friends.

TELL THEM ABOUT MARKING YOUR TERRITORY

I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.

Talk about a lady like a lawn:

I love to conversate, explore and manicure a women mentally and physically.

THE SPELLING ERRORS MAKE FOR A ROUGH START:

• I like for you to be adventrous but still be scentual and delicate
• I Don’t Claim to Be the Dally Lama of Love   
• I can speack English as well as French and I can makeout in French 
• Looking for a lady that dosnt mind slleeping in a tint 

THESE ARE REALLY BAD IDEAS....

You’ll stay single if you’re pulling these shenanigans!

Tell them about your stint in the circus:

Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.

Talk about yourself like a dog, obedient?

“I want to meet a nice man to settle down with, cook for and be looked after by. I am obedient and trustworthy and make the home look like a home.
The person must have a good hart and know how to treat a lady. He must be kind and need a lady in his live. If he look good as well I will be very happy.”

Tell them about your weird geeky bedroom:

In my bedroom, you’ll find:
A portal to the 6th dimension, where space-time is cheap megaphor, the laws of physics are reduced to a whim, and humans live in incomplete pairs with three people per body.