I can't believe these lawsuits exist!

Bark vs. Bite

Woman is bitten by police dog.
Woman sues dog.

What was she hoping to get if she won?

A Pain in the Butt

A physical therapist claims he got whiplash while getting a lap dance at his own bachelor party. The stripper sported a pair of 69-HH ladies. He claimed that she assaulted him with her breasts, “slamming them on his head and almost knocking him out.” He compared her assets to cement blocks.

He sued because of the mental anguish and bodily injury he suffered.

Yes, that’s a scene from Free Willy. What you missed when the cameras were turned off: Willy jumped back over the wall. Instead of reaching the other side, he slammed down on the poor boy. At least, that’s what the Duke family probably believes.

Daniel Duke was found dead inside of an Orca tank at Sea World. His parents sued the park for portraying the Orca as a “huggable stuffed toy.” Well Dukes, that 11,000 pound whale is obviously not a stuffed toy. If your son is dumb enough to believe it, well…

About a month after filing suit, the Dukes voluntarily dropped the case.

Meet Jonathan Riches

Jonathan has filed more than 1,000 frivolous lawsuits while in jail.

In August 2007 he sued Barry Bonds for selling steroids to nuns and giving mustard gas to Saddam Hussien.

In September 2007 he sued Elvis for stealing his sideburns, selling him bad poultry and being in cahoots with Osama Bin Laden. He also believes that Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch harbors Hitler’s army.

He also sued 50 Cent, Suge Knight, President Bush, Bill Gates, Queen Elizabeth, Google, Burt Reynolds, The Terminator, among others.

Theodore Karantsalis filed a claim against Facebook, stating that the site failed to properly protect its users from a virus. He claims that after being affected by a Facebook virus, he had to re-add his 250 friends, with an estimated value of 30 cents each. If you did the math, he is suing Facebook for $70.50.

The case has since been dropped, but even if he didn’t, Facebook is not liable in those situations.

Sandra Howery is suing her University after losing the bid to be elected Homecoming Queen.

Man and woman do the dirty.
Woman gets preggers.
Man sues.

Apparently he didn’t give her permission to get pregnant. She claims she was taking birth control, but still got pregnant anyway.

Lee Williams decided to get the word “villain” on his forearm. He wasn’t sure of the spelling and handed the tattoo artist the misspelled villain.

Of course Williams wasn’t aware of the mistake until a friend began making fun of him.

He’s sued the tattoo parlor for $25,000.

I don't wanna be like Mike

A man sued Michael Jordan for $832 million because he’s “constantly being accused of looking like Michael” and it makes him very uncomfortable. He’s suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering.

Yes…because being mistaken for a basketball superstar is just the worst thing that’s ever happened.

After a dump truck backed into Curtis Gokey’s car, Gokey decided to sue the city for damages. The only problem: Gokey was driving the dump trunk. That fact didn’t stop him from filing a $3,600 claim for the accident. He even admitted the accident was his fault!

Congratulations America. He’s a winner.

Batman Lawsuit

A city in Turkey called Batman sued Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. for royalties to The Dark Knight. According to the mayor of Batman (the city), " “There is only one Batman in the world. The American producers used the name of our city without informing us.”

Also, the mayor is blaming the movie for “a number of unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate on the psychological impact that the film’s success has had on the city’s inhabitants.”

OK dude, Batman has been around since the 1930s. Maybe your city just sucks.