Formerly Heart-broken Gal's Guide on What Not To Say On a First Date

A handy put-it-in-yer-pocket list for after all the tears have dried, and you THINK you might be ready for love again. Again...what not to say... 1) I don't believe in love anymore, but a girl's gotta eat. 2) You wanna see his picture? 3) Do you think grief makes me look fat? 4) You look like a leaver. Are you? Are you, goddammit???? 5) Every date before this one I just tried to sex away my pain, but that was wrong. Now I can't imagine ever having sex again. 6) You're a writer/architect/from Boston, right? (Response to any answer...) My ex was/was not a writer/architect/from Boston he was... 7) I know we don't know each other that well, but I think I should let you know I'll probably cry before dessert comes, and I may need a hug. 8) Can I call you tonight if I can't sleep, because I can't stop thinking of him? IF you make the mistake most of us do and go out there again before you are ready, use the above list. Add to it, if need be....or let your friends. (YOU don't know what you're doing.) ....or, if you can mange not going out too soon I suggest watching When Harry Met Sally or The Notebook or Titanic over and over until the day you find yourself a little grossed out, saying, "oh PLEEEEEEZ". That's when yer really ready. Until then, feel free to use this handy guide.