The Ultimate Senior's Guide to New York City

On Marriage - The 'Til Death Do Us Part Variety

After being married 25 years, a man looked at his wife one day and said, “You know, 25 years ago we lived in a cheap apartment, drove a cheap car, had only a sofa bed and watched a 14” black and white television. BUT, every night I got to sleep with a hot 25 year old blonde."

“Now,” he continued, “We have a nice house, a new car, a big flat-screen TV, but I have to sleep with a 50 year old woman. It doesn’t seem fair.”

His wife was a reasonable woman. She replied, “Well, why don’t you go out and get yourself a hot 25 year old blonde? Then I’ll make sure you will once again live in a cheap apartment, drive a cheap car, have only a sofa bed and watch a 14” black and white television."

The man rethought his priorities.

Assistance With Rent

If you are at least 62 years old, live in a rent-controlled or rent-stabilized apartment, pay more than one-third of your monthly household income towards your rent, and your total, after-tax household income is $26,000 or less, you may be eligible for the Senior Citizen Rent Increase Exemption (SCRIE) program.
(Call 311 for an application.)

Source: Department for the Aging

When I Grow "Upper"...

…I’d like to – please – look like Helen Mirren. Is that likely?  Well, no, probably not. But at least I have technology on my side. Because let’s face it: eating right, exercising, and maintaining a good skincare regimen isn’t always a breeze in a city this bustling.

Quotes on Aging

“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”

“I started out with nothing … I still have most of it.”

“I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.”

Source: JokesClean.com

Ghandi at 61

“…When he was 61, and he and
his followers marched 240 miles in 24 days to make their own salt from
the sea in defiance of British colonial laws and taxes. By the time he
reached the sea, several thousand had joined his march, and all along
India’s coast thousands more were doing the same…”

Source: Time Magazine

Author Frank McCourt

McCourt, author of Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, Angela’s Ashes, didn’t begin writing until he was in his sixties.

Oh, For a Parking Spot

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish whiskey. "Miraculously, a parking place
appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, Lord. I found one.”

Source: Seniorresource.com

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Completed the time-honored play, “Faust” in his eighties.