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Categories: News, Politics, & Pop Culture; Humor
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Financial Crisis-Palooza New York 2008!
The stock market plummeted. Utter mayhem ensued. And Queens of The Stone Age played a killer closing set. I can't believe it - but the International Financial Crisis of 2008 is over. Without question, the best one yet. So many people have always talked about how awesome The Great Depression was, but finally we have something equal to that. And in our lifetime. Oh my God, you guys - IT ROCKED! I partied with Kanye West on the Empire State Building! I got to hang out with Ben Bernanke and talk about the awesome new Coldplay album! I even got to catch the begin reunion concert of Led Zeppelin in the lobby of what used to be Merrill Lynch! I don't know where to start with my recap, but here it goes...
Bear Sterns Closes - OMG, it's happening!
Holy – it’s happening! Have you seen the line-up?!? It’s gonna be awesome!
9/15/2008! Black Monday!
This is insanity. Every major stock in the world is dropping dangerously low. People are losing money and their jobs. AND the festival has scheduled Lil Wayne and The Raconteurs to play at the same time. I don’t know what to do!
Fairway Market
2127 Broadway, New York, NY 10023
Okay, so downside to the festival – the entire market bottomed out and the dollar became even more worthless. No worries. Hop a train to Harlem and stock up on groceries at the highly affordable Fairway Market. Buy enough food for the festival and enough to last you until after your second or third paycheck!
Okay, so downside to the festival – the entire market bottomed out and the dollar became even more worthless. No worries. Hop a train to Harlem and stock up on groceries at the highly affordable Fairway Market. Buy enough food for the festival and enough to last you until after your second or third paycheck!
When In Doubt, Drink.
Unemployed and lost assets – nothing alcohol can’t fix!
Cheap Shots Inc
140 1st Ave Frnt A, New York, NY 10009
There were bummers of the day – like rampant unemployment. Apparently, a set from Elvis Costello and the reunited Attractions can’t solve anything. Catch a couple of more sets and then head uptown to the East Village. Cheap Shots is the glorious dive bar with an even more glorious cheap drink menu.
There were bummers of the day – like rampant unemployment. Apparently, a set from Elvis Costello and the reunited Attractions can’t solve anything. Catch a couple of more sets and then head uptown to the East Village. Cheap Shots is the glorious dive bar with an even more glorious cheap drink menu.
Welcome To the Johnson's
123 Rivington St, New York, NY 10002
Always cheap happy hour specials!
Always cheap happy hour specials!
Jacks 99 Cent Store
110 W 32nd St, New York, NY 10001
Stock up on all your miscellaneous needs. Because the 99 Cent Store was invented by a recession. Enough paper plates to go around for everyone.
Stock up on all your miscellaneous needs. Because the 99 Cent Store was invented by a recession. Enough paper plates to go around for everyone.
Day Two, The Best Day of The Whole Festival!
Gogol Bordello plays a special “lunchtime” benefit concert outside of Lehman Brothers. Even the custodial staff joined in on the fun as the band encouraged everyone to party like there was no tomorrow.
Cadillac's Castle
333 E 9th St, New York, NY 10003
No one’s going to be able to afford American Apparel for a while. So, hit up Cadillac’s Castle for cheap and cool vintage clothing. It’ll be a steal compared to how hard one will have to try to get a bowl of soup in this town.
No one’s going to be able to afford American Apparel for a while. So, hit up Cadillac’s Castle for cheap and cool vintage clothing. It’ll be a steal compared to how hard one will have to try to get a bowl of soup in this town.
Kanye Rapped The Biography of Andrew Mellon!
Kanye West rapped Andrew Mellon’s entire biography in under fifteen minutes at a concert held in front of Goldman Sachs. Hundreds of unemployed, drunken brokers joined the mosh pit and crushed their Blackberries!
Pearl River Market
477 Broadway New York, NY 10013
Target is finally too expensive to afford. For your houseware needs, try the Pearl River Market. Everything has an awesome Asian theme and it’s resoundingly cheap – so stock up! And make sure you and Todd Oldham stay in touch via Facebook.
Kmart Stores
770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
Also, if you can’t bear to get away from a Target-esqe experience, there’s always Target’s ugly step-sister, K-mart. K-mart used to be cool and quirky… in 1994. But, hey, it’s not Wal-Mart. Hit up the deals and then shield your face as you leave.
Also, if you can’t bear to get away from a Target-esqe experience, there’s always Target’s ugly step-sister, K-mart. K-mart used to be cool and quirky… in 1994. But, hey, it’s not Wal-Mart. Hit up the deals and then shield your face as you leave.
Day 3 - Who Called The Narcs?
Before we could really enjoy the third – and final – day of the festival, of course the President has to show up and ruin everything. He bailed out the economy! You don’t understand, Prez! First off, how is a bail-out going to help anyone? Second, I still haven’t seen the Foo Fighters play yet! I demand the Foo Fighters!
17th Precinct
167 East 51st Street New York, NY 10022
Always leave it to authority figures to break up the fun. A small riot broke out and some of us got hauled in. It was so worth it, though. In the clink, I was still shouting for the Foo Fighters with other concert-goers.
Vandam Diner
12 Vandam St, New York, NY 10013
By the end of Day 3, we were sprung. Unfortunately, the concert dispersed, but my friend texted me and turns out everyone headed over to the Vandam Diner for food and re-hydration. We all sat there exhausted and scarfing down pancakes. The last two and a half days had been awesome.
By the end of Day 3, we were sprung. Unfortunately, the concert dispersed, but my friend texted me and turns out everyone headed over to the Vandam Diner for food and re-hydration. We all sat there exhausted and scarfing down pancakes. The last two and a half days had been awesome.
Brought to you by Guidespot.com
Copyright 2008 - Local Matters Inc.
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