How Old Am I, 87?

I have ZERO patience for novice drinkers

I love going out and being social. But unfortunately, so do lots of people who just recently started drinking legally. And this means sharing the bar with people who enjoy swearing at the top of their lungs (“I F*CKING LOVE FOOD!!!!!!!” was a favorite I heard last week) and people who cannot control their limbs and end up falling into you or spilling their drink on you.

And, since I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut when I’m irritated, I typically get the check when these types start showing up. Which makes me feel even older. Boo!

I lose sleep over the economy

This, my friends, is the true mark of adulthood: once you’ve got things like credit card bills, car payments, and (gulp!) a mortgage to worry about, it’s all over.

Right now, I work for a company in serious financial trouble, which means each week I worry that I’m going to be laid off. It’s all I can do to just hang on, keep forging ahead, and remaining postive without starting to freak out about the horrible, worst-case scenarios that could happen if I do get let go. Gone are the days when being out of work meant, “Cool! Now I have time to drive cross-country to see my sister in California.”

9:45 AM on the weekends...

would be considered sleeping in these days…

I get stiff after long car rides

…and by “long”, I don’t mean five hours. Try an hour.

This one crept up on me. We do a lot of driving around the holidays, and I started to feel it when getting out of the car after two and a half hours. And the red light went on when I started feeling it after commuting into work — just an hour away. Uh oh.

I Hate Crowds

Is there anything I need/want so badly that I am willing to shop in crowds like this?? Ughh, no! I was shopping with my mom the other day and pretty much wanted to kill everyone in the mall. People were everywhere and pushing, shoving, and just generally getting in my way. I do not like crowds!!