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Community Fake Medical Terms (Malingeropharmacolexicography)

Started by jimthedoctorirelan | Be the first to contribute
updated 2 months ago

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Mostly pg-rated, some pg13-rated, common terms translated into medical conditions and, where you can go to have these conditions treated. In many cases, these terms can be used to play hookey from class or important meetings, with an appropriate doctor's note.

Prologue

This is a fun guide if you are a regular person looking for ways of playing hooky from work or school, you need some short or relatively clean jokes, need to define some medical terms, or wondering how to translate some of that medical jargon.
This is also a useful guide for people in the medical field.  You can brush up on some of that obscure medical word learning you went through, including prefix, root word, and suffix information.

Endocephalocolonopathy (ECC)

Gotta start with the best one first.  The condition or disease process of having your head up your ass.  Lets not even try to get a picture of this.

Endocolonalgia (EC)

Pain in the ass.

Proctologists

Lets just end right here before things get ugly.

Endopedorosis (EPO)

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The condition or disease process of sticking your foot in your mouth.

Speech Therapists

Ptysispsychosis (PTP)

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Spitting Mad

Psychologists

Who else deals with tourettes?

Anuralaryngiosis (AL)

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Got a frog in your throat.

Ear-Nose-and-Throat Doctors (otolaryngologists)

And you think it is hard to spell?

Circumchloropapulli (CCP)

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Green around the gills.

Internists

Why do they call them internists when they want to know everything that is coming out of you.

Silicootosis (SO)

You got sand in your ears or somethin?

Ear Doctors (otologists)

Scapulodacriosis (SD)

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A shoulder to cry on.

Psychiatrists

What did you think they were for?

 

Condensing Hydrologic Encephalopenia (CHEP)

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Too stupid to come in out of the rain.

Umbrellas

Amberrhinopathy (AR)

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Brown noser.

Business Coaches

Encephalopenia (EP), Anencephalopathy (AE) and Geoencephalopenia (GE)

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A condition or disease process of having little to no brains, also known as dumber than dirt. This could take a while, so lets just move on.

Elementary Schools

Sometimes you really should just start over.

Precipitous Abdorsumanatidoe (PADA)

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Like water off a duck’s back.

Hardware Stores

You must have already been there to get that varnish on your back.

Eucephaloscapulosis (ECS)

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A good head on his / her shoulders.

Surgeons / Head Transplant

Cardiogravis (CG)

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Having a heavy heart.

Cardiologists

Only they can roto rooter out your cholesterol laden arteries.

Pachycephalosis (PC)

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Thick headed.

Unfortunately, you can’t go anywhere to fix this. Women have been trying to figure out where to send men for this for centuries.

Diplolevopedosis (DLP)

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Having two left feet.

Podiatrists

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