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SPONSORED LISTINGS
The Definitive Guide To Facebook Etiquette (Installment 1)
- by theuglyone
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- August 17, 2009
(2)
- 2 discussions
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- 5 comments
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Get your netiquette on with these simple introductory rules. Soon enough you will be king of the Facebook jungle.
RULE #1: Don't be an over-tagger.
Contrary to popular belief, your friend does not want that picture of her with the double chin and the coconut bra tagged.
Photos that denote failure to get laid.
Gratuitous underwear shots.
This one is for you, Lauren Crafford. It’s not my fault that I like to do high-kicks in short skirts.
Porcelain god photos.
Ginger-lovefests.
RULE #3: Don't invite me to your "Golf Pros/Tennis Hos" party EVERY WEEKEND.
Especially if I’ve never gone once. Ivan Carlton – I have no idea how you got my name on your mailing list. . . But I shan’t be meeting you at the university gates for “stretch-hummer action” this Friday, or next Friday, or the Friday after that. I understand being a club promoter is a numbers game, and all, but it won’t be fun anymore when no girl will accept your drink at the club for fear of being spammed. Get with it, and do some spring cleaning of your mailing list once every 4 years!
Julie's Supper Club II
1123 Folsom St, San Francisco, CA 94103
Go here to erase that name off of their email list!
Go here to erase that name off of their email list!
RULE #4: Don't break up with someone by cancelling your Facebook relationship.
The email breakup has acquiesced its throne of lameness to the relationship-status-dump. Since this new technique is an inevitable fact of life, at least be sure to give your friends’ broken hearts big thumbs up in the newsfeed.
RULE # 5: I am impervious to your digital martini offering.
RULE #7: Accept your mom's friend request.
Come on! Embrace the future, and be proud of your technically savvy parent. I promise it will be entertaining when she keeps writing messages to you on her own wall.
SOME TAGGING NO-NOs:
Early morning photos.
Table dancing scenes.
It always seems like such a great idea at the time. . .
Butter
354 11th St, San Francisco, CA 94103
Despite what sticky green jell-o shots and a deep-fried PB&J might conjure within you, do not dance on the tables here. The mean bouncer just can’t handle it.
Despite what sticky green jell-o shots and a deep-fried PB&J might conjure within you, do not dance on the tables here. The mean bouncer just can’t handle it.
Anything involving duct-tape.
Bar None
1980 Union St Ste 4, San Francisco, CA 94123
Put a stop to embarrassingly fratty photo-ops here! Be that Facebook angel sitting politely on everyone’s shoulders.
Put a stop to embarrassingly fratty photo-ops here! Be that Facebook angel sitting politely on everyone’s shoulders.
These guys smell like spam.
Alternately, Facebook proposals are entirely uncouth.
Pathetic Marriage Proposals
Yes, the Twitter proposal made the list.
Like, didn't anyone ever tell you martinis are SOOO 90s, anyway?
RULE #6: Sometimes showing a little skin can have an adverse effect.
I’d have to RSVP as a “maybe” to this Tupperware party.
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.jpg "Chelsea")
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I’m completely with you on the tagging NO-NO some people tag me and I’m like…WHAT?! THE. EFF. untag that shiz.
.jpg "ElGuapo")
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Bueno.
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