Fool-proof ways to publicly humiliate yourself

Pick a wedgie

The deeper you dig, the better. And pick it long enough so that people can catch you in the act and take a picture.

Funny story… when I was 6 or so, I was a “reader” in my 1st grade music program. I had to leave my spot on the bleachers and go up to a mic and read a poem or something. I must have been wearing tights under my dress, because I felt the need to pick a wedgie as I was reading my poem… in front of my entire 1st grade class and all of our families. My parents must have been so proud.

Go braless... and then go into a cold room.

Bonus points if you wear this t-shirt while you do it. But don’t be all incognito like this girl… sport your hard nips proudly!

This is an especially funny/humiliating thing to do when you are around old people. They get really offended, and senior citizens don’t try very hard to hide their condemning glares.

Be on a reality TV show

Regardless of if you act embarrassing in front of the cameras or not, the editors are going to make you look like an idiot in the version that is aired on television. People like to watch train wrecks… producers like good ratings. Get it?

If you can’t get yourself on The Real World, try something like Paris Hilton’s New BFF. Then you will be humiliated just for agreeing to be on the show. You never even have to open your mouth.

Exhibit A

Shave your head for no apparent reason.

Exhibit B

Go commando… and then flash the paparazzi.

Exhibit C

Her 2007 performance at the VMAs. I thought about posting the video, but I think we could all do without watching it again…

Fall down the stairs

There are very few things that are more humiliating (or more hysterical) then falling down the stairs. As long as the person doesn’t get hurt too badly, we love to see this happen. The more people around, the better. Let everyone benefit from your clumsiness. Try falling in such a way that you do a belly flop onto the floor. Just don’t knock your teeth out… blood would just ruin it.

Pee your pants

This is always a fool-proof way to humiliate yourself. It’s even funnier if you do it while you’re sleeping so that people have time to take pictures before you wake up. Then you can be a one-day celebrity on Facebook.

If you also manage to pee on someone else’s furniture, that is even better.

Wear a see-through dress

I’m sorry ladies, but there is nothing classy about this. It is tacky, and whorish, and you deserve to be humiliated if you wear something like this on purpose.

Here’s an idea… before you wear a sheer dress to a premier or party, try standing in a bright light first and see how much of you is being exposed.

Oh, and don’t trust girls named Jenny Humphrey.

Be Sarah Palin

“I can see Russia from my house!”

Take a bath in the sink at KFC... and then put the photos on your Myspace

Yep, this actually happened. Bath time at KFC… in the same sink where they wash all of their dishes… the same dishes they use to cook all of the food that they sell to us. Putting the evidence on Myspace was especially bright. And now they even made it onto Guidespot! Talk about famous self-humiliation!