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18 Reasons NOT to have 18 Kids
- by the_mean_bean
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- September 02, 2009
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- 1 discussion
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- 18 comments
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I get the desire to have a big family, I think that's fantastic- I'm just going to come out say that I think having 18 children has it's fair share of CONS. The word on the street is that the very famous Duggar Family of 18 and Counting on TLC (TLC has a thing for big families eh? i.e. John and Kate plus eight) is about to have 19th....hm. For those of you thinking about having 18 children, consider this:
1. Because that much fabric in one frame simply looks terrible.
Family portraits can either be fantastic of go TERRIBLY wrong. When you have 20 of you in a family photo and you choose something like PLAID, you’re going to have a problem, or make someone go BLIND. But really, even a solid color would look fairly terrible. Red? No. Yellow? Absolutely NOT. Going nude? That’s just wrong. i mean this isn’t a piece of art you want to hang on the wall, it simply doesn’t blend- unless your wall is plaid/grey too.
Jo-Ann Fabric & Craft Store
4613 John F Kennedy Blvd, North Little Rock, AR 72116
Undoubtedly where they picked up some of that horrendous fabric.
Undoubtedly where they picked up some of that horrendous fabric.
4. Because the Osmonds and Jacksons already did the "family band" thing.
I’d also like to point out that to buy 18 violins will cost a few years worth of your salary. Forget about getting a car children, you can buy a car when you’re famous like Yo Yo Ma!
Colaianni Piano & Organ
5501 Kavanaugh Blvd, Little Rock, AR 72207
At least they can share a piano?
At least they can share a piano?
6. BECAUSE YOU'LL END UP TEACHING YOUR KIDS WEIRD SH*T LIKE THIS.....
NO KISSING, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE ENGAGED???! By purity they don’t just mean no sex, THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY KISSING?!?!?!?! What the H.
8. Because chances are one of these 18 kids didn't hear a WORD you said
Forget Bible study- it would be so easy to tune out when you have 17 of your siblings to speak up when you don’t feel like engaging in conversation. Chances are one, or a few of these kids will slip through the cracks….that’s all I’m sayin’.
9. Because you won't know how NOT to eat in bulk.
Three or four gallons of milk, for a couple- totally unnecessary.
10. Because this philosophy may leave you with a LARGE VILLAGE
The Duggars philosophy is this, “….we agreed we would stop using any form of birth control and let God decide how many children we would have. Just a couple of months later, Michelle became pregnant with twins. A double blessing!
At first our families had a lot of concerns for Michelle’s health and how would we be able to take care of and support our family. But over the years they have warmed up to the idea and have been understanding about our heart commitment to love children like God loves children.”
13. Because people may mistake your residence for a Comfort Inn
…and they’ll knock on your door asking for a room.
Comfort Inn & Suites
3915 Mc Cain Park Dr., North Little Rock, AR 72116
Welcome to the newest property in the Little Rock area, conveniently located near all of Little Rock's attractions and several restaurants and shopping opportunities. Hotel is 100 percent non-smoking. Indoor pool temp varies by season.
Welcome to the newest property in the Little Rock area, conveniently located near all of Little Rock's attractions and several restaurants and shopping opportunities. Hotel is 100 percent non-smoking. Indoor pool temp varies by season.
15. Because your oldest will be PISSED her room looks like a nursery
Having to share a room with your siblings means giving up the right to PERSONAL STYLE. If there’s children in the room, the room will look like a childrens room period. Thus, your teenage daughters will feel like babies.
17. Not to mention GRANDCHILDREN
You’ll end up devoting the rest of your life to kids, because by the time the oldest is out of the house he/she will have a baby that they’ll expect you to babysit before your OWN babies are out of the house for good. Your life is over.
Babies R US
2616 S Shackleford Rd, Little Rock, AR 72205
I wonder will they too have a GAZILLION children?
I wonder will they too have a GAZILLION children?
2. Because eventually you'll run out of J names
Or whatever your letter of choice is and you’ll have to end up turning Ginger into JINGER. And naming your kids Jedidiah and Johannah- since you can’t just name her HANNAH.
Tontitown is a city in Washington County, Arkansas, United States. The population was 942 at the 2000 census.
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This article is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia article "Tontitown, AR".
Tontitown is a city in Washington County, Arkansas, United States. The population was 942 at the 2000 census.Since 1898, Tontitown has held an annual grape festival in mid-August, which celebrates the harvest and the town's Italian American heritage. The festival features a carnival, a craft fair and a homemade spaghetti dinner served to thousands.
3. Because you'll have to turn your kitchen into a cafeteria.
Don’t tell me that doesn’t resemble the serving line in a middle school cafeteria?? NOT TO MENTION HOW MUCH FOOD YOU GO THROUGH IN A DAY! That’s a whole seperate reason, it’s EXPENSIVE. And that kitchen is horrible.
5. Because this many bunkbeds would make your room smell like a HOSTEL
That’s basically what it is. Also, what about “private time?” do these children ever get any privacy to be ALONE? To enjoy the company of no one other than themselves? To learn how to be when there aren’t 19 other people constantly surrounding them…that’s an essential part of growth that they’re missing out on.
Mattress King
301 S Bowman Rd Ste 200, Little Rock, AR 72211
Byt the time you had your FIFTH child you’d be on a first name basis.
Byt the time you had your FIFTH child you’d be on a first name basis.
7. Because eventualy you'll give up and your hair will look like THIS.
Imagine, 18 children running about- feeding them, bathing them, dressing them, getting them to school- when do you get to do all of that stuff for yourself??? You don’t. So you keep the same hair style you’ve had since 1981.
Sams Club-Members Only
5600 Landers Rd, North Little Rock, AR 72117
OHHH…I’m SURE they’re members.
OHHH…I’m SURE they’re members.
11. Because you'll always have one child that says something nutty
Like “I hope the new baby fears the Lord.”
12. Because you'll get a hunchback from doing this much laundry
Or you’ll end up spending hundreds or dollars for a housekeeper, or a TEAM of housekeepers-which The Duggars aren’t doing. Wanna bet how many times a red sock has gotten lost in a massive pile of whites? Probably several.
14. Because you'll end up having a Hot Rebel Kid
And for a Christian family I would imagine this could be quite stressful. Lock her in a closet!
16. Because you'll have to pay for 7 weddings.
Or at least they will. If you have 18 boys then good for you- you still have to pay for the rehearsal dinner.
18. Because your vagina will be VERY. VERY. ANGRY WITH YOU.
THE END.
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This is probably the best guide ever. And all the birth control I’m ever going to need again.
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