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Pimp My Goatee

By jimthedoctorirelan | updated about 1 month ago

Even crab wontons need their goatees to be pimped. Now with a side order of happy Klingon and Ming the Merciless.

Please, Garthe Knight, Pimp my goatee!

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Even crab wontons need their goatees to be pimped.

First, you must grow a goatee people can be jealous of.

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Dude he can pull anything off.

This is the pimp of choice for gemuetlichkeitists

For people who love being in a state of gemuetlichkeit, this is their goatee. For more about gemuetlichkeit and gemuetlichkeitists, go here.

Lest we forget Garthe Knight

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Arch enemy of Michael Knight! I would think this is pimping down in my case, but you gotta go with the classics sometimes.

How to Grow a Goatee

Step 1.  Eat some food.
Step 2.  Sleep.
Step 3.  Be completely lazy and do not shave for a couple of days or weeks, depending on your hair growing motivation.
Step 4.  Practice meditative breathing for fifty minutes of every hour and repeat the hair growing mantra “my hair must grow” in 3,000 repetitive cycles during that time.

Maybe we can pimp a Sparrow 'Tee

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Strangely, this is the only pimp I could find with beads or braids.

Pirates like fishing too

This is the pimp of choice for fishermen. Check out this On Nantucket Stripers guide for more on fishing.

Sometimes you need to have a goal in mind when pimping a goatee

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Don't forget, it is easy to enhance "crazy"

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Some pimping ideas are a little off base.

No doubt about it, ladies love the 'tee

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Anthrax's Scott Ian can have his own page full of goatees

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See what I mean? Some 'tees you just can't pimp any further.

Of course you can't go wrong with happy little Klingons!

Goatees don't have to be evil.

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Pimping ‘tees has been around longer than you might think. And not just any kind of facial hair will do.

Pimp of choice for Star Trek Geeks like us

This is the pimp of choice for all nerds, geeks and origami enthusiasts. They might also find this full contact origami site interesting.

Just remember, many a great ideas come from Humor Time Portal

Master Splinter Masters Many Things.

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