Does Los Angeles Make You Horny, Baby?

Jumbo’s claim to fame? Party girl Courtney Love used to dance “exotically” here. The burlesque dancers at Jumbo’s look more like 1950s pinup girls than Vegas strippers so if you’ve got a thing for Dita Von Teese, this might be your place.

Britney Spears has been seen browsing tomes in Larry Flynt’s sexy store, but don’t get the wrong idea, Hustler isn’t your average trashy sex shop. Hustler Hollywood looks more like a Sephora franchise than a seedy erotica emporium, so if you’re a newbie when it comes to these sort of places, Hustler is a good place to get your feet wet.

Feeling sexy doesn’t come from a pair lacey underwear, it comes from within! Now that we’ve had that pep talk, get yourself to Shela Kelley’s S Factor where you can pole dance and undulate yourself to a slimmer physique and newfound confidence. You’ll be amazed how a little booty shaking will change the way you look at your body and your self.

If you’re like us, you like a good lunch special, and it doesn’t get better than a FREE LUNCH BUFFET, now does it? We didn’t think so. Now what if you could enjoy this free lunch buffet AND see some exotic dancing, even better right? Say hello to Bare Elegance.

If learning the art of tantra sounds a little complicated, then take the easy road and eat at this hot Indian restaurant instead. The food isn’t great (you’re probably better off going to a mini-mall in Chatsworth for a good Indian meal), but the atmosphere is tres sexy.

Royal Jelly may sound gross and messy, but it’s actually a highly choreographed burlesque show at Ivan Kane’s 40 Deuce. The rock ’n roll show (which is set to a soundtrack of rocking tunes) makes burlesque seem more like Broadway than exotic dancing.

What do you get when you cross a dirty mind with sushi? Hadaka Sushi. This R-rated (sometimes X-rated) sushi joint has rolls named after sex acts you wouldn’t dream of uttering in the presence of your mother. But thankfully there are also more “tame” rolls just in case you blush easily. Hadaka also offers customers the chance to partake in Nyotaimori, where sushi is eaten off of bodies instead of plates.

If you’re looking to seduce your lover over food then consider a trip to Sutra, where the chef infuses the menu with natural aphrodisiacs. We’re not exactly sure how sexy we feel after eating a roast chicken with garlic mashed potatoes or a blue cheese spinach salad (ummm, can anyone say stinky breath?), but at least the decor looks sultry.

Interested in spicing up your bedroom life, or lack thereof? Take a trip to the Pleasure Chest! The store offers all kinds of toys, books, and videos, so you’re bound to find something here to suit your needs. Rumor has it that Halle Berry is a fan. Enough said.

You don’t need to speak French in order to get the gist of what’s inside this chain of stores. Oooh la la.