Category: Misc.

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Cherry Creek on Foot - A guide to the snobbiest part of Denver

Every city has a place like Cherry Creek. Overpriced boutiques, trendy eateries, fancy cars everywhere, and skinny, rich, botoxed, augmented, women with shopping bags and tiny dogs. Welcome!

Cherry Creek North

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When you travel to Cherry Creek North you will see a lot of these parking machines. There is almost nowhere to park for free, and they ticket cars furiously, so bring a fistfull of quarters and feed one of these ugly robots.

Places to Eat

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Yummy!

Sushi TAZU

300 Fillmore Street G1, Denver, CO 80206

Tazu is the best place for Sushi in Cherry Creek and the prices are very reasonable. They have a dessert special here called “Warm Chocolate Thunder”. I’ve never tried it but I would like it to be my new nickname.

Tazu is the best place for Sushi in Cherry Creek and the prices are very reasonable. They have a dessert special here called “Warm Chocolate Thunder”. I’ve never tried it but I would like it to be my new nickname.

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Cherry Cricket

2641 E 2nd Avenue, Denver, CO 80206

The Cricket is popular for their Burgers and the casual, laid-back vibe. Try to visit during off-hours because during the lunch hour the place is packed and noisy.

The Cricket is popular for their Burgers and the casual, laid-back vibe. Try to visit during off-hours because during the lunch hour the place is packed and noisy.

Cherry Cricket Website

Cherry Creek Grill

184 Steele Street, Denver, CO 80206

This is a real Cherry Creek institution. The food is expensive and the service is first-rate. Most of the customers at lunch are snooty rich women taking a break from power-shopping and business people trying to impress one another with a pricey meal. Not my scene.

This is a real Cherry Creek institution. The food is expensive and the service is first-rate. Most of the customers at lunch are snooty rich women taking a break from power-shopping and business people trying to impress one another with a pricey meal. Not my scene.

Places to Shop

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Vineyard Wine Shop Inc

261 Fillmore St, Denver, CO 80206

A great wine store with selections for every price range. The wines are divided by country of origin into different rooms. The staff is friendly and has a wealth of wine knowledge. And they don’t mind if you just come in to browse.

A great wine store with selections for every price range. The wines are divided by country of origin into different rooms. The staff is friendly and has a wealth of wine knowledge. And they don’t mind if you just come in to browse.

Hermitage Antiquarian Bookshop

290 Fillmore Street, Denver, CO 80206

I think this place is cool. If you are a book lover you will find something amazing here to look at, but probably not to buy. Sure, I would love to have a first edition of Lolita, but I never seem to have the $1100 to pick it up.

I think this place is cool. If you are a book lover you will find something amazing here to look at, but probably not to buy. Sure, I would love to have a first edition of Lolita, but I never seem to have the $1100 to pick it up.

Rich People's Pet Shops

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C B Paws

278 Fillmore Street A, Denver, CO 80206

This is a really cool store and the staff is warm and friendly and make you feel happy to be a pet owner. They always greet you with a big smile. They should, if they expect you to dish out $125 for a dog collar.

This is a really cool store and the staff is warm and friendly and make you feel happy to be a pet owner. They always greet you with a big smile. They should, if they expect you to dish out $125 for a dog collar.

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Three Dog Bakery Inc

233 Clayton Street, Denver, CO 80206

How often have you wondered where you can buy an elaborate birthday cake for your Basset Hound? Well, your sleepless nights are over. Here is the place!

How often have you wondered where you can buy an elaborate birthday cake for your Basset Hound? Well, your sleepless nights are over. Here is the place!

Y'know, For Kids

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The Wizard's Chest

230 Fillmore St, Denver, CO 80206

A really fun store even if you don’t have a kid. Part magic shop, part toy gallery, part costume store. I can, and have, spent hours in this store.

A really fun store even if you don’t have a kid. Part magic shop, part toy gallery, part costume store. I can, and have, spent hours in this store.

Wizards Chest Website

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Kazoo & CO Inc

2930 E 2nd Avenue, Denver, CO 80206

A toy store for kids with a trust fund. You see a lot of weekend Dads here, trying to outspend the ex-wife in the race to buy a child’s love. Classic.

A toy store for kids with a trust fund. You see a lot of weekend Dads here, trying to outspend the ex-wife in the race to buy a child’s love. Classic.

 

Cherry Creek

Cherry Creek Mall

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Kids playing with a giant breakfast. Hilarious.

Cherry Creek Mall website

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Sur LA Table

3000 East 1st Avenue, Denver, CO 80206

Every fancy kitchen gadget you ever dreamed of is availiable here. I bought a double boiler, an egg poacher, and a Can Uncrimper. I don’t know how to use any of them.

Every fancy kitchen gadget you ever dreamed of is availiable here. I bought a double boiler, an egg poacher, and a Can Uncrimper. I don’t know how to use any of them.

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Hardware for the filthy rich.

Restoration Hardware

3000 E 1st Avenue 1114, Denver, CO 80206

Do you need to buy a few household cleaning products but can’t figure out how to spend $120 dollars doing it? This store is for you!

Do you need to buy a few household cleaning products but can’t figure out how to spend $120 dollars doing it? This store is for you!

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Urban Outfitters

3000 E 1st Avenue, Denver, CO 80206

This store is really, really popular and I don’t know why. It’s just like Old Navy, only the clothing is uglier, of far inferior quality, and roughly 3 times more expensive. The staff stands around sending text messages and ignoring customers and making even the smallest purchase involves standing in a long line that moves at a speed that makes continental drift look breakneck by comparison. I have often wondered what shopping in the old Soviet Union must have been like. Now I know.

This store is really, really popular and I don’t know why. It’s just like Old Navy, only the clothing is uglier, of far inferior quality, and roughly 3 times more expensive. The staff stands around sending text messages and ignoring customers and making even the smallest purchase involves standing in a long line that moves at a speed that makes continental drift look breakneck by comparison. I have often wondered what shopping in the old Soviet Union must have been like. Now I know.

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I thought this was very confusing. I thought the homeless needed homes, not knitwear. How often have you seen a bum holding a cardboard sign that says, “Will work for Scarf”.

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This horrible statue is on Fillmore Street. It depicts a very happy Native American with an eagle exploding from his chest. It looks like something from a Navajo version of “Alien”. Whoever put this here, give us a break. What’s wrong with a nice fountain?

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It is a language spoken in Dollars.

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