Class it up. Relatively speaking. Cocktails are tasty and the beer selection is refreshing in this off-Mission original. The well-preserved Victorian wood bar and the molded ceilings invoke old grandeur, while the peanut shells littering the floor remind you that you’re still in Dodge. Their Prohibition Day celebration isn’t to be missed.

Truth be told, even though I make my money shilling for The Man and have the best boyfriend in the world, I still love me some hot punk rock eye candy. This is the best place to get it.

As the name implies, this place is a definite no-frills local watering hole. In fact, the only signage is three large red block letters that read “BAR.” Dark, red and a little dingy, it fits the bill when you’re looking for a place to sink into a stool and soak your sorrows. It is not the place to get a $10 cosmo. It is the place to get a $3 vodka tonic.

Feeling angry? Sleazy? A little like getting in trouble? This is your bar. The red lights and smoky air give this place a dirty feel when it’s packed with prowling hipsters nursing breakups, hangovers and general moral afflictions. There’s a pool table, but I think it’s exclusively used for making out. This could be because the drinks are very, very generously poured.

Pops is far enough off the beaten pub-crawl that you can actually manage to get a drink on the weekend without waiting for a miracle. If you don’t have a friend to drink with, they have a Ms. Pac-Man machine. If you do, they have a photo booth. Also, Sandy Cruz is the best bartender in the city. Become a regular and enjoy.

Just off Cap Street, the uptown is the hands-down go-to bar on a drizzly weekday night. There are comfy couches to snuggle on, cute booths, snarky graffiti, a pool table, and a surprisingly decent jukebox. Quirk and charm for a $4 beer. Plus, everyone looks better in the low lighting.