I'm a self confessed klutz, and most of my friends would agree with me. This guide tells you everything you need to know to survive the day when you tend to be a little bit clumsy.
Definition of a Klutz:
A klutz is a person who is clumsy, foolish, inept, or accident-prone. Taken from Wikipedia, the definition is pretty accurate. You could also just insert my name here. I’m clumsy and accident-prone, but only sometimes foolish.
Need the police, fire department or medical help, fast?
Things a Klutz Needs at all Times
1. Bandaids 2. Neosporin 3. Tylenol, Advil or Ibuprofen 4. Cell Phone to call an Ambulance 5. Car or Ride to the Emergency Room 6. Elbow Pads, Knee Pads, and Helmet
These days, most everyone wears a helmet when leading their active lifestyle to protect their fragile skull in case of an accident. Well, as a klutz, I’m here to tell you that some of us need elbow pads, knee pads, gloves and any other safety device available to protect us. If you can find a Michelin Tire outfit…go for it.
1. Drinking Heavily 2. Roller Skates 3. Stairs 4. Knives, Scissors, Blenders…anything sharp 5. Hardwood Floors with bare feet or sock 6. Low Ceilings
The Blender
This is a true story. I suppose a non-klutz would know NOT to stick their finger into the blender when it’s on. BUT, a klutz may need a reminder that when the blender is on, it is best to avoid sticking your finger inside (to get the vegetables to blend better) for fear that the tip of your finger will get sliced and you’ll require stitches. This can also lead to loss of feeling in your fingertip and losing some of your fingerprints. Healing time is approximately one month.
Stock up on bandaids, neosporin, bactine, gauze and anything else you may need to fight infection from your latest fall.
Stock up on bandaids, neosporin, bactine, gauze and anything else you may need to fight infection from your latest fall.
Winter- It Can Be Scary
Ski? Uh, no. Snowboard? Scared to death. I can’t even walk safely for several months without falling during this icy, cold, icy, slippery, icy month called Winter. First time I fell in Denver gave me a cracked tail-bone. That hurts people. Second major fall lead to two cracked bones in my wrist. This year, well, I consider myself lucky and just got a big scrape and bruise. Let’s not even disucss the fear I have of icy stairs. Oh wait! I did fall this year on some icy stairs and bruise my back side.
Hardwoods
Walking should not be too difficult a thing for most of us, and generally not too dangerous. For the klutz however, just a simple step onto the hardwoods with bare feet(freshly pedicured makes for smooth soles) leads to a fall onto your backside. For best results with as few slips as possible, the klutz should wear house-slippers with rubber soles at all times to avoid their next fall.
For most, not an issue. For me….it’s lead to two broken bones. Just with a little trip or weird twist of an ankle. I’m currently sporting a good looking shoe/boot to heal a stress fracture in my left foot. I got this walking back and forth from Steuben’s to the Fillmore to the Horseshoe and back one Friday night in a new pair of black patent Birkenstocks(shut up, they’re cute.) I suppose the hard soles were too much for me..so I broke.
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