Categories: Adventure & Sports; Humor

-621245378

The $1,000.00 Free Turkey

By jimthedoctorirelan
updated 26 days ago

Everything you ever wanted to know about receiving a $1,000.00 free turkey.

Going Snowboarding

  • You ever wake up one of those days before Thanksgiving and decide to go snowboarding, but the day goes horribly awry? 
  • This guide gives you the information you need to handle such a day.

Ski Resorts

Deciding where to go boarding is the easy part.

The Charity

  • I was ready to go snowboarding and headed out.
  • When I opened the door, there was a box of food from a charity on my front step. 
  • They must have been trying to donate the food to a previous tenant. 
  • I figured I would call them the next day to fix the error.

Contacting a Charity

The Free Turkey

  • Among the box of food was a huge fifteen pound frozen turkey. 
  • I figured I would put it in my freezer so it wouldn’t go bad. 
  • Then, I was finally free to head off for an awesome day of snowboarding.

The Freezer

  • Thankfully, the day of snowboarding was injury free and uneventful until I got home. 
  • I walk in to find the freezer door wide open and the free frozen turkey was on the floor (not so frozen anymore). 
  • The contents of the freezer had melted leaving an incredible mess in the freezer, in the refrigerator, behind the refrigerator, all over the counter and all over the floor.

Maid Services

I wish I would have thought of one of these places to help clean up the mess, though it would have been a lot to expect someone else to do.

The Cat

  • After spending a good hour or two cleaning up the mess, I realized I had not seen the kitty since I got home. 
  • I had a hard time finding her and finally found her cringing and none too happy underneath the dresser. 
  • I didn’t know how she could fit under there, and had to move the dresser to get her out.

Chiropractors

Sometimes moving a refrigerator and then a dresser is not the best idea.

The Veterinarian

  • Well, the poor cat was dragging her back legs behind her like she was paralyzed, so, I figured it was a good time to make an emergency call to the vet. 
  • I know I didn’t hurt her with the dresser, so the logical assumption was that the fifteen pound frozen turkey must have fallen on her.

Veterinarians

It is kind of hard to find a vet at 6:30 pm on a Sunday.

The End

  • Thankfully, after checking the x-rays to make sure a five pound cat was not crushed by a fifteen pound frozen turkey and blood work to check for internal bleeding, the cat was fine, just a bad strain. 
  • After tallying the cleaning supplies used, the electric bill for running an open freezer door for twelve hours, a trip to the chiropractor, and the veterinarian’s bill, I was the glorious recipient of a $1,000.00 free turkey.

Calculators are helpful for figuring out the damages

For more stories of misfortune and how to deal with them, check this out.

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