Need a new schoolgirl outfit? A full-body rubber catsuit? A pink ridding crop? You got it. The boutique allure of Madame S makes squeezing into that perfect piece of fetishwear seem as natural as springing on designer dresses in Hayes. It’s pleasant, girl-centric and scores zero on the sleaze scale. For the initiated, the modest selection might become an issue, but it’s a good place to start if you’re looking to pick up some basic outfits.

If you’re really looking to expand your horizons, head into the adjacent Mr. S, which is the one-stop-shop for the bad ass bears of the city and the boys that love them. Some of the stuff back there is super sick and twisted.

An every-Wednesday club operating in SOMA. Get all gussied up and go dance your rubber-clad bottom off among fetishistas and fashionistas all trying to emulate Bettie Page (they have a yearly look-alike contest and it seems patrons prep all year). Strong cocktails served in plastic cups can help you cope with the goth and industrial musi, even if they don’t contribute to the ambiance.

If you’re actually looking for a public sex club, Club Kiss is your best bet. It’s cheesy, like any “sex club” has to be: There are lava lamps and stripper poles and all the tacky trussing that come with the territory. But there are also hot people, an open BYOB bar, clean surrounding and decent music. The fact that it’s women and couples only makes it comfortable. While not a strictly SM space, it’s not exactly vanilla. (You’ll realize that orgies actually look kinda Roman.) Also, unlike the Power Exchange, you don’t feel like you’re going to contract herpes just by sitting down. Events are twice monthly and you have to “apply” online. Yes, they vet you on hotness. And once you go, you’ll realize this is a good thing.