Vanity + Photoshop = Awesomely Cheap...I Mean Personal Holiday Gifts
by Elissa - December 11, 2008
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Last year, as I wracked my brain to create a set of classy one-of-a-kind gifts on a beer bottle pocket, the gift idea of all gift ideas struck me: a customized calendar featuring hackneyed seasonal pictures of ME. That way, every time Uncle Gary had a dentist appointment, or Grandma Reggie had a water aerobics class, they would be graced with a heartwarming photo of their favorite relative. If you share my passion for Photoshop, and giving people giant pictures of yourself, please read on, and spread your own self-indulgent gift to the world.
Get Into Character
Make sure to be convincing. To prepare for this photo I ate nothing but cornmeal for a week, and I think viewers are really penetrated by the resulting image of yearning, fear and pride.
Consider The Weather
Due to a relatively long fall last year in Chicago, I was able to snag a few calendar photos outside. You may be shivering in those short shorts, but the authentic porch background will make the gift all the more meaningful to its recipient.
Learn How To Use Your Flash Timer
After about the 5th elaborate photoshoot, your friends may start to lose interest in being your photographer. That’s when you set up your camera on a pile of books and use the automatic timer.
Urban Outfitters
You can buy blank Russian Dolls here. You can also pay $36 for a peacock feather on a hairpin.
How To Make A Parrot Costume For Less Than $10
Check out another of my other penny-pinching craft projects.
Spare No Details In Setting
Take the time to set the scene for each photo. Every cocktail umbrella counts when you’re making a calendar. Remember this rule, and your relatives will never want to turn the page to a new month!
And don’t forget, the taller the hair, the closer to God.
And If The Weather Fails You...
…there’s no reason you cannot be digitally transported to a tropical Bolivian forest, or the lush gardens of Giverny. Even if you don’t have Photoshop, these feats can be accomplished using Paint.
The Wonders Of Windows Paint
This was another Guidespotter’s brilliant contribution in the guide, “2009 Predictions,” made entirely on paint. Imagine the possibilities!
Pose Quickly With Pumpkins In Jewel Parking Lot
Before the security guard asks you to leave.
Also consider color enhancement. They definitely don’t make pumpkins this orange in the inner-city Chicago.
When You Realize You Forgot To Do July 2 Hours Before Your Proof Is Due...
…don’t forget the importance of stock photography.
Snapfish.com
This is where I ordered my calendars. Of course if you are on a time constraint, Kinko’s can print them the next day.
Snapfish also offers a huge selection of potentially uncomfortable photo memorabilia.
Kinkos
They will also blow up a photo to 5’ (black & white) for 10 bucks, should you need a larger than life mantlepiece.
Remember, Kim Kardashian Did It, So It Must Be Cool
I’m not really sure how she got her boobs to do that. I take solace in the fact that I doubt she could pull off the pilgrim shot.
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This is hilarious. And totally brilliant.
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Wow. This girl isn’t full of herself at all. No, really, it’s hard to believe, but she’s not. Wait, WTF am I doing? This is probably the most self-centered guide I’ve read.
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Wow, this is strange because Jay actually used the exact word/mathematical symbol combination I was going to use to describe you. “You = Awesome.” this is coolest thing I have ever seen. I once thought of taking head shots and sending them out as christmas gifts, but this is taking it to a whole other level. I am in love with myself and this is something I would totally do this….well, If I were creative and knew how to use photoshop. The calendar would feature EL Guapo and BananaMan in rotating months…I HEART ME
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