Oh, That Crazy Craig: The Best Craigslist Ads Ever

by susie
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February 14, 2011
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Sometimes you find some totally legit and fabulous job opportunities on craigslist. Sometimes you find roommates and free TVs. And sometimes you find total freaks who make you laugh out loud. What have you found on craigslist lately? Share the best of it. Or maybe I mean the worst of it? I'm not so sure what I mean...just share it.

Ad: Pizza Face For Pay?

We want to PAY YOU to give yourself acne!

We’re looking for a moderately attractive male or female, aged 18-35, with fairly clear skin and a good sense of humor. The assignment is to spend one week trying to GIVE YOURSELF ACNE: you will smear your face with oil, crisco, pizza grease, and other unctuous substances, then go about your daily business.

A high-quality digital camera is required, as you must take plenty of pictures (at least 10 per day). You will also need to keep a written journal of your experiences (at least 2 typed pages per day). Your experiences will then be written up for our award-winning comedy Web site, where we will give your experiment massive publicity. Please do not apply if you do not want to become a “breakout” star!

We will pay $250 for the experiment, plus reasonable expenses, with an additional $100 bonus if you are able to successfully give yourself at least five zits.

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You had perfect skin, eh? But then you got desperate for money. So you smeared your face with pizza and Crisco and now you look like this.

Was it worth it? At least you got that $100 bonus for giving yourself “at least five zits.” Your parents must be proud.

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Any takers?

I mean, not much in life is free. So why not take a broken time machine. Oh, you’re not interested in going forward through your life?

You could always try to fix it yourself. Go pick it up.

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Ad: Missed Connection

I keep passing you on the way to the fridge. I’m sure you’ve noticed me – I think you’re looking at me out the corner of your eye when I get in and out of the bed we share. I waved at you several times over the weekend as we were sitting down to meals. At breakfast this morning you ate the oatmeal I made, but didn’t seem to notice my gesticulating. I know it’s unlikely you’ll see this, but if you do and something clicks, get back to me.

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Hello?

Craigslist is perfect for posting missed connections. See a pretty girl on the street and chicken out too much to talk to her? Post it on Craigslist. Live-In Girlfriend or wife completely ignoring you? Try posting a missed connection.

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Best of Craigslist in Chicago Pt. 1

Best of the Best in the Chi. Those crazy freaks are trying to sell stuff.

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Best of Craigslist in Chicago Pt. 2

They’re still selling stuff. And it gets worse.

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Best of Craigslist in Chicago Pt. 3

It’s free for a reason. It’s worthless!

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Wanted: An honest, for real Literary agent.

<!—StartFragment—>

“I have written a great novel that can easily make millions.
So I am not looking for any agents who want me to put up any
money.
Let’s be honest with each other and we will both become far richer
than you could be with any low class scam.
Call me and I’ll tell you what the book is about, you decide if it’s
the greatest submarine story ever written.
If you don’t agree we will simply stop there.
Thanks, give me a call. Bob XXX XXX XXXX”<o:p></o:p>

<!—EndFragment—>

added by aliciak 03/17/2009

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central NJ craigslist > services offered > small biz ads DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888

central NJ craigslist > services offered > small biz ads DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888 DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888 please flag with care: [?]
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
DUMPSTER METUCHEN NJ (EDISON NJ 08817) Date: 2010-12-13, 4:46PM EST
Reply to: serv-rstxg-2111162331@craigslist.org <font>[</font><font>Errors when replying to ads?</font><font>]</font>
<font>
</font> WWW.NEWJERSEYWASTEDISPOSAL.COM<!— START CLTAGS ->

<!- CLTAG GeographicArea=EDISON NJ 08817 ~~->Location: EDISON NJ 08817~~
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

<!- END CLTAGS —> <table> <tbody> <tr> <td></td> <td></td></tr> <tr> <td></td> <td></td></tr></tbody></table>PostingID: 2111162331

added by dumpster 12/14/2010

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central NJ craigslist > services offered > small biz ads

central NJ craigslist > services offered > small biz ads
please flag with care: [?]

miscategorized

prohibited

spam/overpost

best of craigslist

DUMPSTER METUCHEN NJ (EDISON NJ 08817)

Date: 2010-12-13, 4:46PM EST
Reply to: serv-rstxg-2111162331@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

WWW.NEWJERSEYWASTEDISPOSAL.COM

•Location: EDISON NJ 08817
•it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2111162331

added by dumpster 12/14/2010

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DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888

DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888 DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888 DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888

added by dumpster 12/27/2010

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DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888

added by dumpster 12/27/2010

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New Jersey Performing Arts Center

1 Center St, Newark, NJ 07102

Built in 1997 with nearly $200 million, the New Jersey Performing Arts Center is a state-of-the-art entertainment venue with two elegant stage halls, and the intimate, cabaret-style Chase Room. The Center is located in in the heart of Newark, across from Military Park. Past events have included the m... more »

added by dumpster 12/27/2010

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DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888

DUMPSTER ELIZABETH ,JERSEY CITY NJ 908-313-9888

added by dumpster 12/27/2010

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Page 1 NameCall today 908-313-9888 ask for Joe Dicellis. WE TAKE AWAY ANY KIND OF TRASH. The other waste companies do not even come close to what we offer. Waste removal call and we haul . Professiona

Page 1 NameCall today 908-313-9888 ask for Joe Dicellis. WE TAKE AWAY ANY KIND OF TRASH. The other waste companies do not even come close to what we offer. Waste removal call and we haul . Professional debris removal of anykind . We do all the work. Uniform employees. Always up front prices . Always on time . Save time and money. Modern fleet. Fully insured . State license 13243 CALL NOW , 908 -313 -9888 joe jr. Waste Mangement customers recieve discounts. WE HAVE DUMPSTERS> We handle all types of debris ,

added by JoeD 01/08/2011

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About The Author

susie

Boston

I love cupcakes, the color pink, writing, technology, blogging, trying to learn Japanese, and walking from one end of Boston to the other. I make it my goal to try one new thing in Boston every week, but sometimes I find things I love so much, I just can't tear myself away from them. Boston...