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Undercover Bottle Openers
- by elisa
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- May 30, 2009
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- 11 comments
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I don't know about you guys, but I tend to be a little wary of people with bottle openers on their key chains--a 28 year-old frat boy? No, thank you. But when it comes down to it, having a bottle opener is pretty darn useful and since opening beer bottles with your teeth is still considered to be a social faux pas, it pays to have one around. So what's a beer lover to do? Why, get an incognito bottle opener of course! Hell, it's what James Bond would do.
Credit Card
This isn’t a functioning credit card (wouldn’t that be awesome?), but it definitely plays the part well. You can probably fool drunk people into believing that you’re a Hong Kong business mogul.
Lime
The perfect accessory for drinking Coronas. Just make sure no one tries suck it, reattaching tongues is a total buzz kill.
Ring
Since this ring looks more like brass knuckles than a bottle opener, it’s pretty hard core. Throw in the fact that it has a shamrock on the side and you could be a regular Colin Farrell (after you get into some bar fights, that is).
.jpg "Chelsea")
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This one’s clever, I’d rock it.
.jpg "Elisa")
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It is— though now I’m wondering how you use it without scrapping all the skin off your knuckle…
Belt Buckle
While this particular belt buckle bottle opener isn’t terribly incognito (you might as well shout out the fact that you get into frequent drunken football game brawls), it ups your chances of getting someone to accidentally touch your crotch area.
Dog Tag
While even drunk people will probably catch on to the fact that this isn’t a real dog tag, you can regale them with bogus stories about your military heroics just the same.
Hat
Not only does this hat let you open beers while you’re having fun in the sun, but it will stave off the effects of dehydration brought by excessive alcohol consumption.
The 35 Coolest Bottle Openers
I think some of mine are WAY cooler, but then again I am sort of biased.
Give Your Bottle Opener Some Practice:
Galco's Old World Grocery
5702 York Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90042
Also known as Galco’s Soda Pop Stop, this place is the Valhala of carbonated beverages. They have all manner of obscure ginger ales, root beer, colas, and cream sodas.
Also known as Galco’s Soda Pop Stop, this place is the Valhala of carbonated beverages. They have all manner of obscure ginger ales, root beer, colas, and cream sodas.
Bottoms Up, Los Angeles
Where to go if you want to give your bottle opener some exercise
Bev Mo
6521 E Pacific Coast Hwy, Long Beach, CA 90803
Also known as BevMo! or Beverages and More!, this place is ground zero when it comes to drinks. Wine, beer, the hard stuff, and anything else you can chug will be at your disposal here.
Also known as BevMo! or Beverages and More!, this place is ground zero when it comes to drinks. Wine, beer, the hard stuff, and anything else you can chug will be at your disposal here.
Culver City Home Brewing Supply Co
4358 1/2 Sepulveda Blvd, Culver City, CA 90230
If you really wanna stick it to the man, then make your own beer at home! This place has everything you need to make hootch in your bathtub.
If you really wanna stick it to the man, then make your own beer at home! This place has everything you need to make hootch in your bathtub.
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Costco
2901 Los Feliz Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90039
While I love BevMo! Costco is still probably the best place to get your brews in bulk. Plus, they used to sell variety packs of Pyramid Ale (one of my favorites).
While I love BevMo! Costco is still probably the best place to get your brews in bulk. Plus, they used to sell variety packs of Pyramid Ale (one of my favorites).
House of Spirits Liquor Inc
1314 Echo Park Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90026
This place is a better-than-average liquor store, but I’m giving it special mention mostly because they have one of the most awesome neon signs EVER.
This place is a better-than-average liquor store, but I’m giving it special mention mostly because they have one of the most awesome neon signs EVER.
House of Spirits
Am I right, or am I right?
Beverage Warehouse
4935 Mc Connell Ave Ste 21, Los Angeles, CA 90066
This little-known place is a treasure trove when it comes to beer— I think they have over 200 kinds! Be still my beer loving heart.
This little-known place is a treasure trove when it comes to beer— I think they have over 200 kinds! Be still my beer loving heart.
HatTrick
This one is downright visible, but unless someone’s trying to throw something at you, odds are no one’s really staring at the back of your head anyway.
.jpg "Elissa")
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oh NOOO!!! hahhaa
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I think this just might be one of the MOST random things ever invented.
Pop Up
I’m not really sure what makes this bottle opener “pop up” but since it’s made my Alessi I’m just going to give them the benefit of the doubt. And since it sort of looks like HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey people will probably write you off as a dork instead of an alcoholic.
Star Trek
If you’re a Trekkie who likes to play drinking games during Star Trek reruns (shots every time McCoy says “Dammit, Jim!”) then nobody will think anything of this bottle opener as it sits among your other memorabilia items.
Fork
This will go totally unnoticed in your utensil drawer. And if this isn’t the perfect accessory for camping I don’t know what is.
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CONVENIENT, I like it.
Lighter
Thanks to this handy dandy lighter-bottle opener, smoking while drinking has never been easier! Yay, vice!
Where to Buy 'Em:
Bike Chain
You definitely couldn’t use this thing as a real bike chain, but it’ll look pretty innocuous if it’s sticking out of your pocket while you peddle your fixie.
.jpg "JayFerris")
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At least you could beat somebody down with this thing when it wasn’t being used to open bottles.
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True! This thing would definitely leave a mark.
Flip-Flop
I love Reef flip-flops because they’re squishy and comfortable, but now I’m going to love them because they are GENIUS. Although now I’m kind of wondering how stop sand and dirt from falling into your drink. Ideas, anybody?
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Should I be embarrassed that I have a COUPLE friends with these?
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Hahah, no— I’m actually a little jealous, I’d like to see how it works!
Key
It looks just like a key chain anachronism, but your friends will be blown away when they find out it’s a bottle opener and not a key to a pirate treasure chest.
Coaster
Cute, playful and functional nobody will ever guess that your adorable frog coaster is in fact a bottle opener.
.jpg "aliciak")
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This is pretty adorable!
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I know! Cute AND multi-use. It doesn’t get better than that!
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