Come Here Often?: Laughable Pick Up Lines
by GillianS
19 contributors - September 16, 2008
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Humor | Dating & Relationships
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Hey, dating is difficult, I get it. And I certainly don't envy men when they're made to feel that they *must* make the first contact. But sometimes I wonder if they even think before they step up to the plate. Add your favorites below!
You: Do you know what fucks like a tiger and winks?
Her: What?
You: wink
added by JayFerris 10/17/2008
.jpg "shine")
Los Angeles Zoo
5333 Zoo Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90027
Find Tigers Here. And possibly a date…?
Find Tigers Here. And possibly a date…?
"You're Tall"
I would say a small majority of “lines” that I’ve heard have referenced my height. Yeah, I’m tall, but how far do you think pointing that out is going to get you?
“How tall are you?”
“Are you a model?”
“Is your mom tall or is your dad tall?”
"So, where's your drink?"
This is the WORST pickup line ever. Not only does it make you like a douche who only likes drunk girls, but it makes you look like a cheapskate when you don’t offer to buy me a drink.
added by Elijay 09/17/2008
"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a biatch?"
works really well on women who date cops.
added by Constantine 10/09/2008
"What's Your Sign?"
Sure, it’s cliched, but it can really strike up some great conversations.
No, I’m kidding. It’s a terrible pick up line. No one should ever use this.
added by Mitch.Kocen 09/21/2008
That beer ain't gonna buy itself and walk over here.
ok – its not a pickup line, but if you enjoy getting a drink thrown in your face its effective. Ask my wife.
added by PhilHarding 10/07/2008
"I've had lunch with the Secretary of Defense"
“I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards – not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don’t blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel’s Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren’t any more of those!”
added by Constantine 09/16/2008
"Are you going to eat that?"
Works as a great conversation starter. Plus, you might get something to eat out of it.
added by rhy 09/16/2008
"You've never heard of me?"
Some loser at the H.M.S. Bounty said that to me one night. He claimed to be the French Canadian folksinger, Leon, and was shocked that I had never heard of him.
added by Breeze 09/22/2008
"When was the last time you cried?"
He actually came up to me and said “I’m going to ask you the only real question there is in life,” then wrote “When was the last time you cried?” on a napkin. He had an Australian accent, but now that I think of it, he was probably faking it.
added by Elissa 11/20/2008
Target Stores
7100 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046
Buy napkins for practicing your lame pick-up lines on. Oh, and drying your tears after you don’t get a date with Elissa.
Buy napkins for practicing your lame pick-up lines on. Oh, and drying your tears after you don’t get a date with Elissa.
"I'm going to make out later. Would you like to join me?"
And, yes.
It works.
added by ethwiny 10/01/2008
"Hi, I'm..."
There’s no real way to pull off this opener without looking like a) a tool, b) an idiot, or c) Matt Fried.
added by Matt Fried 09/16/2008
"Do you like John Wayne?"
A guy came up to me and asked me that random question at a bar. After I gave him a confused look, he said his friend thought that was the perfect pickup line. It certainly stood out and we did chat for a little bit.
My feet stayed on the ground though.
added by Shawna 09/16/2008
Who do you know?
First of all, I’m not sure that’s grammatically correct. Anyway, the very first time I visited L.A., a girl at a bar actually asked me that. Of course, I said “nobody”, and she turned that little stick figure body around and walked away.
added by gwhitescarver 09/16/2008
For all the drunks out there (myself included):
“Is that a keg in your pants? ’Cause I wanna tap that ass!”
added by jamesonandsoda 09/16/2008
"I recently discovered that I have special powers."
And need help deciding to use them for good or evil.
Worked twice for me…. when I was single.
added by davidh 10/03/2008
.jpg "It's not me, it's you.")
.jpg "Girls That Bring Out the Lesbian in You")
.jpg "So, Your Girlfriend Is A Lesbian...")
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El Guapo did some market research for you: Went to a bar by my house last night where they were having something called mailboxes. Basically you wear a number on your shirt and you write notes addressed to the number of the girl or guy you think is cute. You put it in the mailbox and then they can go pick up their mail and write back to you Tried some of the lines in your guide with little success. Instead went 8th grade style and wrote: Circle 1 if you think El Guapo is guapo. Circle two if you don’t. Incredibly lame? Indeed, but somehow worked. So you can add that one to the list
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Goigri. Rule #1. Rule #2. What don’t you understand?
.jpg "GillianS")
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