Started by GillianS
| 19 contributors
updated 11 days ago
Hey, dating is difficult, I get it. And I certainly don't envy men when they're made to feel that they *must* make the first contact. But sometimes I wonder if they even think before they step up to the plate. Add your favorites below!
You: Do you know what fucks like a tiger and winks?
I would say a small majority of “lines” that I’ve heard have referenced my height. Yeah, I’m tall, but how far do you think pointing that out is going to get you?
“How tall are you?” “Are you a model?” “Is your mom tall or is your dad tall?”
This is the WORST pickup line ever. Not only does it make you like a douche who only likes drunk girls, but it makes you look like a cheapskate when you don’t offer to buy me a drink.
“I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards – not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don’t blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel’s Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren’t any more of those!”
Some loser at the H.M.S. Bounty said that to me one night. He claimed to be the French Canadian folksinger, Leon, and was shocked that I had never heard of him.
He actually came up to me and said “I’m going to ask you the only real question there is in life,” then wrote “When was the last time you cried?” on a napkin. He had an Australian accent, but now that I think of it, he was probably faking it.
A guy came up to me and asked me that random question at a bar. After I gave him a confused look, he said his friend thought that was the perfect pickup line. It certainly stood out and we did chat for a little bit.
First of all, I’m not sure that’s grammatically correct. Anyway, the very first time I visited L.A., a girl at a bar actually asked me that. Of course, I said “nobody”, and she turned that little stick figure body around and walked away.