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Columbus Day is upon us, unfortunately
- by aliciak
- -
- October 11, 2008
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I'll never forget that day in anthropology when I learned that Christopher Columbus was a total douchebag. Wait, our social studies books AND teachers lied to us? Next thing you know, someone will tell me that diagraming sentences was a big waste of time and that playing Oregon Trail every single Computers class didn't actually further my education. But whatever, it's almost Columbus Day and you know what that means? Every business has to make up special events, sales and deals to accompany it in order to make money. Let's see what we've got!
COLUMBUS DAY IS MONDAY, OCTOBER 13!
The Lowdown on Chris
He was indeed an Italian explorer, but he didn’t exactly “discover” America like those textbooks would like to have you believe. He did, however, pique everyone’s curiosity about land over this way a bit more. Columbus also found himself smack-dab in the middle of a trend called IMPERIALISM. In other words: “You have stuff I want—gimme!” He named the natives “Indians” and proceeded to generally be a bad person. And that is the Christopher Columbus lesson of the day, kids!
Lies My Teacher Told Me:Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong
Which other heroes were anything but? What other trivial dates did you memorize that really signify nothing special? “The Truth about the First Thanksgiving”…can you handle it?!?
The Columbus Day Parade
The most obvious way to celebrate this Monday is by attending the annual Columbus Day Parade. It’s “the world’s largest celebration of Italian-American heritage and culture and is broadcast on six continents.” Oh my. Parades always sound more fun than they are, and really how different are they from normal days in Manhattan? Lots of traffic, people dressed up funny, loud music and a general feeling of malaise.
The parade runs along 5th Avenue from 44th to 79th street, beginning around 11:30 and finishing up around 3. In other words, avoid this area like the plague if you feel like going for a relaxing drive.
Wow, looks fun!
This really IS a picture from the Columbus Day Parade. I thought it would be funny to show a very not-parade-like photo. Actually, this looks like the idea parade to me—no parade marchers, no floats, no noise (presumably).
Parade Starting Point
5th Avenue and 44th Street New York, NY 10036
A Few Other Columbus Day Events
OR go to the Hispanic Day Parade
Running along the same parade route one day before, Sunday, is the Hispanic Day Parade, an annual tradition for 44 years now.
Now THIS is a parade!
St. Patrick's Cathedral
460 Madison Avenue New York, NY 10022
Parade schmade—go to Church! Get to the special Columbus Day Mass at 9:30am. Whoa.
Grand Central Terminal
87 E 42nd St, New York, NY 10017
To accompany the parade festivities, there are also…exhibits! Will they tell you the heroic story of Columbus or the stark truth? You will have to find out. The exhibits in Grand Central run through October 19.
To accompany the parade festivities, there are also…exhibits! Will they tell you the heroic story of Columbus or the stark truth? You will have to find out. The exhibits in Grand Central run through October 19.
Celebrate Your Day Off
If you’re a lucky worker bee, you have off Monday for this glorious holiday! You wouldn’t be caught dead in midtown madness for the parade but you’ve got the entire day free before Monday night football comes on. What should you do? Well, you could netflix your life away, clean your apartment or catch up on blog-reading, but instead, get out of your house and do something not lame!
The New York City Waterfalls!!!
Another American hero, Michael Bloomberg spent 15 million dollars on some manmade waterfalls, so if you haven’t seen ’em, Monday will be the very last opportunity to do so. Some ideas for seeing them:
-Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
-Go to Fulton Ferry Park in Dumbo
-Ride the ferry to Governors Island
-Walk along the Brooklyn promenade
Nuyorican Poets Cafe Inc
236 E 3rd St, New York, NY 10009
Hate Columbus Day? You are not alone! The Nuyorican Poets Cafe will holds its Anti-Columbus Day Bash SUNDAY night in an all-out protest. Wheeee!
Hate Columbus Day? You are not alone! The Nuyorican Poets Cafe will holds its Anti-Columbus Day Bash SUNDAY night in an all-out protest. Wheeee!
Metropolitan Museum of Art
1000 5th Ave, New York, NY 10028
Open on monday holidays! Perhaps check out the Italian Painting of the Late Middle Ages area?
Open on monday holidays! Perhaps check out the Italian Painting of the Late Middle Ages area?
Sadness by way of an Italian chapel stained glass window at the Met.
Picnic Market & Cafe
2665 Broadway, New York, NY 10025
Were you more of the science type in school? Forget social studies and history! Monday night is Cafe Science! The topic is “Is Glass a Liquid? The Science Behind the Urban Legend.” Maybe I’m a nerd, but that sounds about 100 times more fun than a historical figure parade.
Were you more of the science type in school? Forget social studies and history! Monday night is Cafe Science! The topic is “Is Glass a Liquid? The Science Behind the Urban Legend.” Maybe I’m a nerd, but that sounds about 100 times more fun than a historical figure parade.
Explore Little Italy
Columbus was Italian. We have a Little Italy. Here’s an original idea: explore it! Haha. Columbus Day weekend also marks the last day the food vendors will be in the nabe, which is definitely cause for celebration! I.e., streets can revert back to holding cars instead of hundreds of annoying people. Tourists begone!
Saaaaaausage!
C. Day Monday!
Support Your Capitalist Economy
Department stores are known for having sales for every imaginable holiday. Did you know that last weekend there was a “Pre-Columbus Day” sale somewhere? But what goes better with Columbus Day than a day of shopping for goods made abroad, goods that exploited minority cultures so that Americans can have what they want. That fits perfectly. History does, indeed, repeat itself…
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