Uncommon Cures for the Common Cold

Sudafed - it's not speed, but it's close

After popping the appropriate dose, I cleaned the sink and toilets, mopped, wiped the baseboards, re-folded all of my socks, and wrote three letters to my local congresswoman.

I still have not received a response.

After the pills wore off, I had a long tearful conversation with my Mom and still had a completely stuffed-up head; possibly the worse from the extreme physical exertion.

Multi Green kombucha

Complete with klamath mountain blue-green algae, spirulina, and chlorella. Has 1 billion organisms in 1 bottle.

And it’s not working. If 1billion organisms can’t do it, what can??

My Dear Neti Pot

You are also not working. As Mike Myers might say, “I’ve still got schzmuckus in my schznozis.” Where do I turn?

Maker's Mark

Well, yeah. I tried this, too.

Grandma told me to. It just led to an argument with my boyfriend and me going to bed with my mascara still on.

Gargle with salt water

Not that it’s terribly uncommon….but it is disgusting, though rather affective.