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10 Ways to Celebrate Cinco de Mayo on a Budget
- by elguapo
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- May 04, 2009
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Fun things you can do on Cinco de Mayo that won't break the bank.
1) Learn Spanish
Expand your horizons from the comfort of your own couch.
3) Take a virtual trip to Mexico (in the World Book encyclopedia)
Fun and educational!!
5) Eat nachos til you puke
According to the Nacho Historian, Frank Lopez, Nachos were invented by Ignacio “Nacho” Anaya in 1943 in Piedras Negras, Mexico when a bunch of Gringos visited El Club de Victory, demanding delicious Mexican cuisine as well as beverage.
You can read the whole story here
I Heart Nachos
El Guapo’s official guide to a little slice of heaven I call the Nacho.
6) Wear a mustache for a day
Why? Because it’s fun.
Which mustache style are you?
Every man (and sometimes woman) has their own mustache style befitting to their personality. For Cinco de Mayo, El Guapo recommends the “major” or the “Gringo”
For more options, check out El Guapo’s Mustache Guide below!!!
El Guapo's Guide to Choosing Your Perfect Mustache
Perhaps you will go with a Larry Bird Blond Invisistache or perhaps the Ravishing Rick Rude Crotch stache is more your style.
When the Kentucky Derby Falls on Cinco de Mayo
Pink polo + seersucker + El Guapo mustache = trouble.
7) Go to the Donkey Show
Giddy-up Zonky!
8) Eat Delicious Mexican Food
Yum!!
The following Mexican restaurants have been approved by Joe Biden and are Swine Flu Free
Taco Burrito King
811 W Jackson Blvd, Chicago, IL 60607
Yet another Burrito joint. This one’s pretty good They grill the burritos to make them toasty warm.
Yet another Burrito joint. This one’s pretty good They grill the burritos to make them toasty warm.
GO HERE
La Pasadita has the best carne asada tacos outside east LA and it’s like $6 for three.
La Pasadita Restaurant
1132 N Ashland Ave, Chicago, IL 60622
Awesome tacos!!
El Guapo recommended
Awesome tacos!!
El Guapo recommended
Come Join, me, Lou Dobbs, as we celebrate the fact that we're not Mexicans!
What I imagine Lou Dobb’s Cinco de Mayo Party invite looks like.
10) Finish off the night with baby-free sex
In 1951, Mexican chemist Luis Miramontes, then a college student invented the birth control pill. Odelay!
No Partner?
No problem. Not only did Mexican, Guillermo González Camarena invent the first color television system 1942, future Mexicans invented Telemundo which is the perfect companion for lonely nights as well as all your meteorologic needs
2) Immerse yourself in Mexican Art and Literature
Once you have mastered the Rosetta Stone Spanish Levels one and two, you are fully prepared to watch and understand Mexican documentaries
National Museum of Mexican Art
1852 W 19th St, Chicago, IL 60608
Celebrating Mexican culture and history through a collection of more than 5,500 works of art spanning two millennia. (Regrettably, Three Amigos is not part of the collection).
Celebrating Mexican culture and history through a collection of more than 5,500 works of art spanning two millennia. (Regrettably, Three Amigos is not part of the collection).
4) Adopt a Spanish Sounding Name
adopt a Spanish sounding name for the day like Carmen San Diego or Roberto Thompson.
Insist that your friends call you by this adopted name all day.
The Chicago Museum of N.A.C.H.O. History
WARNING to unsuspecting tourists looking for an AWESOME Mexican cultural adventure — Chicago’s N.A.C.H.O. History Museum has NOTHING to do with actual nachos. I found out the hard way.
It’s a stupid culinary center What a crock of shit!!! I call it the the C.R.O.C.K. O.F. S.H.I.T. Museum. Why? Because it’s a crock of shit.
Me Eating Nachos
No Cinco de Mayo celebration is complete without artificial cheese sauce and canned jalepenos.
These Nachos were pretty good because of the dual cheese dipping sauce containers. (most ballpark nachos only have ONE cheese dipping sauce container, leaving you angry and your chips under saucified)
Sometimes mustaches make you look like a douche
or in this case, a bigger douche.
El Guapo says this costume sucks. The Mustache is too big, the sombrero too small and the donkey appears very uninterested in the whole charade.
Lincoln Park Zoo
2200 N Cannon Dr, Chicago, IL 60614
Genaral Admission: free to the public. Donkey Show Extravaganza costs extra.
Genaral Admission: free to the public. Donkey Show Extravaganza costs extra.
Picante Taqueria Restaurant
2016 1/2 W Division St, Chicago, IL 60622
This place is good. They have good burritos, fish tacos and gringo tacos (think taco bell crunchy shell)
This place is good. They have good burritos, fish tacos and gringo tacos (think taco bell crunchy shell)
Joe Biden checking for Swine Flu at T-bell.
NOT HERE
Food should not cost 79 cents.
9) Avoid Lou Dobbs at all costs
He hates Mexican people and is a big downer on Cinco de Mayo.
Adios babies!!
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god that donkey is such a party pooper
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