Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

by aubreewyattsmith
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September 22, 2009
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Post-election 2008, I'm reminded of a little Bowie number called "Changes". (Wasn't Bowie also the guy who wrote "I'm Afraid of Americans?" No matter...) Over the course of history, The United States has changed like a woman before a first date; often, and only sometimes for the better. So what would you change about The U-S-of-A if you wielded more than just the power of a vote?

Campaign Length

Sweet Jesus. By the time we reach the end of the campaign trail, billions of dollars have been spent, the candidates are on the verge of collapse, and so are we. Like the never-ending previews to a much-anticipated movie, the tedium begins to suck some the excitement out of the actual election. It begs the question: “If a candidate needs a year and a half to prove him/herself, do they really deserve our vote??”

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Social Security

Never intended to be a retirement program for our elders, Social Security has stuck around like a terrible drug habit with the government fiendishly spending our hard-earned tax dollars before they’ve even been secured, and citizens becoming increasingly dependent upon its promise.

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Interdepartmental Communications

Were these some of the guys in the sandbox who didn’t want to share their Tyco truck for a shot at using your mini chopper? The FBI. The CIA. The State Department. Central Command. Local PDs. Countless major opportunities have been lost and significant blunders made due to petty turf battles and the unwillingness to share valuable information. One department holds a city’s most wanted suspect for interrogation without telling them; field officers in foreign lands tell Central Command they need more boots on the ground but no one listens. Bin Laden has been chased by countless Elmer Fudds all reporting back to The White House, but wrangled in red tape. It’s about time for some serious cooperation for the betterment of all.

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Legalize This!

…Speaking of drug habits, want to know one way to reinvigorate the economy? Legalize some of the activity we know will always result in money changing hands, and make sure hand sanitizer and a 1099 are included in the deal. Why not tax and make safer the business we know will always persist, whether we like it or not, and use the funds for something positive?

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About The Author

aubreewyattsmith

Washington Heights

The name's Aubree Wyatt Smith. I'm a ten-year Manhattanite, writer/editor, and a day trip enthusiast. In my humble opinion, the best "bang-for-your-buck" day trip in the metro NYC area is a train trip to Sleepy Hollow. (In the Fall, of course.) -@