.jpg "Cats Can Use The Potty Too!")
.jpg "Cats Inside Sinks!")
.jpg "Animals Riding Things: It's That Simple")
.jpg "More Cushion For The Animal Pushin'")
.jpg "mswen")
.jpg "Things I Will Never, Ever Do")
.jpg "The Best Hedgehog Roundup Ever")
.jpg "The Tao of Celebrities")
.jpg "Ray Schon State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Dan Tyler State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Susan Terhune State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Ben Parsons State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Awkward Family Portraits will make you say \"WTF?\"")
.jpg "Love is funny: Awesomely BAD engagement photos")
.jpg "Failbook")
.jpg "How to Have Sex With Hot Women Even If You Don't Own the Three Wolf Moon Shirt")
SPONSORED LISTINGS
A Cat's Guide to Life in Massachusetts
- by mswen
- -
- June 07, 2008
(2)
.jpg)
As dictated to her owner, Guidespot writer mswen.
About Me
Hello. My name is Callie.
I was born in Georgia around 14 years ago. I’m a female American shorthair, black with yellow eyes.
I prefer to be addressed as Callie. And can someone pass that memo onto my owners? Because instead, I hear drivel like this:
- Cal Pal Delicious
- Cal Palantonio
- Pal Al Airlines
- Tony Shalhoub
And the resemblence is…where?
My Typical Morning
Hey, they can avoid all this by just cooperating with me.
How I Got Here
About six years into my life I was completely uprooted and brought to New England. And what kills me is that I was expected to make this road trip willingly and without issue. Are you kidding me? You want to keep me confined inside of a crate for how many hours?
Jail. But if you’re angry enough, you can get out.
After hours of howling in the most annoying way possible, I was able to break out of my crate. But I wasn’t yet free. Escaping from inside the cabin of a U-Haul was my next challenge.
I think it was my pacing back and forth across the dashboard that did it; or, entangling myself beneath the feet of my owner, who was driving the truck. But the next thing I knew, I was at a vet’s office in the middle of nowhere being sedated. And then I woke up in Massachusetts.
A horrible, horrible memory.
What I Like
After the trauma of moving to a new state with different weather and (admittedly, better) grass, I began to slowly acclimate to Massachusetts. I began to purr again.
And although I am incredibly picky and my tastes are very specific, I even began to like things again. Here are some of my favorites.
I will go to great lengths to lay in the sun.
- Laying in the warm sun
- Being scratched behind my neck
- Rubbing my face on corners
- Laying in front of a warm fire
For my kneading pleasure.
- Fleece blankets
- Long string being dragged around
- Classical music
- Bacon
The glorious smell of bacon will wake me from a dead sleep.
- Circling the bed exactly 3 times before jumping on it
- Opening closet doors that are a tiny bit open
- Being spoken to in a very high-pitched voice
- Mustard
- Ice cream
- Tuna fish
- Jonny Cat litter
If it’s not Jonny Cat, I will not pee on it. I’ll pee on the brick fireplace hearth instead.
What I Don't Like
Most things annoy or frighten me. Here are the things at the top of that very long list.
This was taken during a complete lapse of judgement on my part.
- Cars
- Cat toys
- Newman’s Own Organic cat food
- Salmon
- Mugs of hot tea or coffee anywhere near me
Ridiculous.
- How my owners can’t sit still for 5 freaking minutes so I can sit on their laps and be pet
- Not being fed at the appropriate times
- Red plush footstools
My owners had this in red. I refused to jump on it.
- Children
- Strangers
- Other animals
- Loud noises
- Someone, even my owner of 14 years, walking behind me
- Change of any kind
Adore Me
I say you can’t bathe a cat. That’s who.
Cat Fancy magazine
Any owner worth living with should subscribe to this magazine. Mine don’t – they’d apparently rather read publications about decorating or fashion. And while I am often critical of the models they choose for the covers, Cat Fancy is always chock full of tips and cat-centric products that’ll help you spoil your kitty.
The glamorous life of cats at a cat show.
International Cat Show
87 Arlington Street, Boston, MA 02116
Forget Westminster. Did you know that there’s also a cat show? Of course you didn’t. The International Cat Association Cat Show is part of the Boston Pet Show and shows over 100 breeds of domestic cats, both exotic and purebred. Also in attendance are rescue leagues, breed clubs and shelters, all there providing information on cats available for adoption.
Forget Westminster. Did you know that there’s also a cat show? Of course you didn’t. The International Cat Association Cat Show is part of the Boston Pet Show and shows over 100 breeds of domestic cats, both exotic and purebred. Also in attendance are rescue leagues, breed clubs and shelters, all there providing information on cats available for adoption.
Indulge Me
I’ll make it easy for you. These are the best places to satisfy a feline like me. And when I’m happy, everyone’s happy. I’ll purr alot, I’ll rub up against your legs, I’ll come when you call me, and there will be less urine to clean up.
I will pester you endlessly until you give me a pile of these treats.
Market Basket
400 Somerville Avenue, Somerville, MA 02143
Food, treats, and cat litter: the staples of my life are purchased here. I prefer the Market Basket brand center-cut bacon, Whiskas Temptations treats, and Friskies wet food. They also buy my Jonny Cat litter here at a fair price.
Food, treats, and cat litter: the staples of my life are purchased here. I prefer the Market Basket brand center-cut bacon, Whiskas Temptations treats, and Friskies wet food. They also buy my Jonny Cat litter here at a fair price.
My food dish.
Marshalls Department Store
350 Washington Street, Boston, MA 02108
My owners love this place. And they don’t just come home with new shoes or clothes for themselves – I’ve also gotten my fair share of goodies from here, too. Like two of my favorite fleece blankets. And my cat food bowls.
My owners love this place. And they don’t just come home with new shoes or clothes for themselves – I’ve also gotten my fair share of goodies from here, too. Like two of my favorite fleece blankets. And my cat food bowls.
The FURminator cat brush. I’ll pretend I don’t like it, but I totally do.
Petsmart
5 Mystic View Rd, Everett, MA 02149
I could spend hours browsing the aisles of this place. It’s got everything an owner needs for caring for a pet, including a stupidly-named yet heavenly brush and my current litter box. Visit their terrific online store for shopping from home.
I could spend hours browsing the aisles of this place. It’s got everything an owner needs for caring for a pet, including a stupidly-named yet heavenly brush and my current litter box. Visit their terrific online store for shopping from home.
Animal Spirit
2348 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02140
Finally – a pet store with an owner who is truly passionate about what she does. Walk in and ask any question: about food, grooming, anything – and you’ll be given an educated, helpful answer and will probably see things in a new light. Let’s be frank: I love my Friskies. But it’s like McDonald’s – delicious yet deadly. When I’m ready to convert to healthier food, I hope my owners go here. Sure, it’s more expensive, but they carry organic, top of the line brands that aren’t readily available anywhere else. They also offer grooming services, and on Saturdays cats are there available for adoption.
Finally – a pet store with an owner who is truly passionate about what she does. Walk in and ask any question: about food, grooming, anything – and you’ll be given an educated, helpful answer and will probably see things in a new light. Let’s be frank: I love my Friskies. But it’s like McDonald’s – delicious yet deadly. When I’m ready to convert to healthier food, I hope my owners go here. Sure, it’s more expensive, but they carry organic, top of the line brands that aren’t readily available anywhere else. They also offer grooming services, and on Saturdays cats are there available for adoption.
Brookline Grooming & Pet Supplies
146 Harvard Street, Brookline, MA 02446
This place carries a good variety of the higher-end cat foods and obscure litters, but they also have the fun stuff: glue on cat claw covers, toys, treats, bed, and cool cat feeders. I’ve heard that the staff isn’t super friendly, but humans tend to put too much emphasis on friendliness anyway.
This place carries a good variety of the higher-end cat foods and obscure litters, but they also have the fun stuff: glue on cat claw covers, toys, treats, bed, and cool cat feeders. I’ve heard that the staff isn’t super friendly, but humans tend to put too much emphasis on friendliness anyway.
Some owners call this a “miracle product”.
Catfaeries.com
Sure, I got a little edgy when I moved into my new house. Who wouldn’t? I knew there were cats there before me, and it made me unexplainably angry. So my owners got this spray called Feliway. Apparently it mimics the natural pheromone of a cat, so it killed the urge for me to mark my territory.
Where to Get Someone Like Me
…but not quite as FABULOUS as me.
Listen – I was raised in a pet store. And thanks to being endlessly poked by annoying children, I have grown up to despise kids. Useless, stupid store employees didn’t help matters any, and so began my crusade against having live animals that require actual care for sale in pet shops.
So I beg you – if you’re in the market for a pet, please visit a local animal shelter. One of these should be able to pair you up with a new friend.
Mspca
350 Centre Street, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130
The $125 adoption fee will get your new cat taken care of with all of their shots, flea and ringworm medication, get them spayed/neutered, and a microchip.
The $125 adoption fee will get your new cat taken care of with all of their shots, flea and ringworm medication, get them spayed/neutered, and a microchip.
Animal Rescue League
10 Chandler Street, Boston, MA 02116
Lovely volunteers put all potential owners through an interview process, which is a good thing, so don’t get annoyed. And there tend to be older cats here rather than a ton of kittens, so open your heart to one of them if you can.
Lovely volunteers put all potential owners through an interview process, which is a good thing, so don’t get annoyed. And there tend to be older cats here rather than a ton of kittens, so open your heart to one of them if you can.
Northeast Animal Shelter
204 Highland Avenue Suite 1, Salem, MA 01970
The staff here is serious about what they do, and their first priority is caring for the animals. They adhere to a a strict adoption process which can often come across as unfriendly, but in the end, they want a good home for their animals.
The staff here is serious about what they do, and their first priority is caring for the animals. They adhere to a a strict adoption process which can often come across as unfriendly, but in the end, they want a good home for their animals.
Alliance for Animals Mobile Action Clinic
232 Silver Street, Boston, MA 02127
This shelter also offers services like spaying/neutering and vaccinations. Pay what you can afford, but try to at least cover the cost – these people really care about what they do.
This shelter also offers services like spaying/neutering and vaccinations. Pay what you can afford, but try to at least cover the cost – these people really care about what they do.
Where Everything Is
A word of advice: Cats hate cars. And don’t want to accompany you to any of these places. So just go without us, and hurry back home.
Guides We Think You'll Like
- |
- |
- |
- |
- share this
.jpg "aubree munar")
-
This is calico fantastico! Sometimes I wish my dog would dictate to me…however I also fear her list of grievances might be too long to handle ;)
.jpg "Jessica H")
-
no really…we are laughing. We like Callie. xoxo-Elvisimo(Elvis) and Cod Liver(Oliver)
-
Sitting here now with my 2 black cats, Elvis and Oliver(aka fat and skinny). They concur…this guide rocks!
.jpg)
Discussions