Categories: Geek; News, Politics, & Pop Culture

I Am A New York Nerd

By mattfriedinNY
updated 6 days ago

The laws of the jungle go as stated: only the strongest survive. The strongest, of course, are not so much the ones who can club an mastodon, but rather trade stocks by day and Dungeon Master by night. That's right: the nerds rule on this one. The fact is that we make life way more interesting for the people in this city. If you would care to debate me, let's grab a Jamba Juice, hit up a comic shop, and talk my friend.

Neutral Ground

15 West 37, New York, NY 10018

There really is no larger hardcore haven than a gaming store. With nothing but pride, Neutral Ground offers the latest in figurines, cards, and accessories. The back room is entirely dedicated to online play and their second floor host regular meetings for Magic: The Gathering enthusiasts. Welcome to the land where no female treads.

J & L Game Trading 1 Inc

28 Elizabeth Street, New York, NY 10013

Rated as one of Manhattan’s top spots for video game shopping, J & L has made a name for itself. Where else do you think you could find a bootleg copy of Mortal Kombat 2: NC-17 Cut?

Generation Records

210 Thompson St, New York, NY 10012

One of the last specialty record shops in Manhattan, Generation Records is your place to pick up punk rock b-sides and a toilet seat Ian McKaye smashed once at a Minor Threat show. London is burning, oy.

Breakbeat Science

181 Orchard Street, New York, NY 10002

Did you really think the math nerds who made music with their calculators weren’t interested in taking it to the next level? Breakbeat is where you’ll find them today. Tucked away in The Lower East Side, it’s a home base for the drum and bass crowd, as well as countless Kraftwerk debates.

The Mysterious Bookshop

58 Warren Street New York, NY 10007

There’s a certain kind of nerd with a taste that The Mysterious Bookshop caters to; his leader is most likely Quentin Tarantino. Featuring the city’s largest collection of mystery, suspense, and pulp literature, don’t be surprised if you run into that creepy guy from college. Y’know, the one: he lived at the end of hall, never talked to anybody, and loved hot dog Fridays at the dining hall.

Today, We Are Men

By the time college ends, most nerds find a way to become involved in our society at large. Let’s take a look at a few examples.

Music Nerd
10 years ago: Snarky, antisocial loner who hung out at the local record shop and prized Surfer Rosa by The Pixies. Semi-annoying habit of making every girl he liked a mixtape.

Now: Snarky, antisocial contributing editor for major music magazine and/or blog. Takes great venegeful pride in being the tastemaker of his generation. Still has semi-annoying mixtape habit.

Comic Nerd
10 years ago: Bookish, quiet kid who aced every art class he ever took. Had unhealthy attraction to the fictional hottie, Emma Frost, from X-Men.

Now: Leading comic book artist/critic of his generation. Hosts cable talk show and/or web show. Currently dates a porn star.

Gaming Nerd
10 years ago: Self-involved outsider with an obsession for strategy and deployment. Splits time between D&D and Monty Python reruns.

Now: John McCain’s deputy campaign manager.

Writer Nerd
10 years ago: Spent his time scanning the ancient texts of Vonnegut and Kerouac looking for the meaning of life. Actually believed that high school girls dug poets. Listened to too much of The Cure and The Get Up Kids.

Now: Me.

The Mercury Lounge

217 East Houston Street, New York, NY 10002

No one sits down with a synthesizer and a guitar to make music at seventeen, and is actually socially accepted outside of his own head. The Mercury Lounge has been the premier venue where indie darlings TV On The Radio, Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, and Santogold have all played along their road to success. Catch a set and then ask one of the band members why the last Star Wars trilogy sucked. Prepare for war.

Anthology Film Archives

32 Second Avenue At Second Street, New York, NY 10003

Consider this art house gem the ruddy east side sibling to the flashier Film Forum. At way cheaper, AFA exclusively screens retrospective films like Roshomon and The General. That chatter in the back are all the film school students bashing their screenwriting professor for being “too academic.”

Spider-Man’s girlfriend and now wife; possibly the greatest superhero girlfriend of all time. Here’s the thing: there is no reason that Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker – at first glance – should have ever hooked up. Mary Jane is a world class supermodel and Hollywood actress; Peter Parker is a photographer and teachs high school science. Here’s the other thing: Mary Jane had known Peter as a friend for years before they started dating and she’d been doing her thing in the spotlight. The fact that Peter could eventually catch her eye for his genuine nature and straight-forward, uh, hobbies gives hope to the rest of us. So Stan Lee, thanks for the promise: eventually, we’ll all ended up with hot supermodel girlfriends.

Soundtrack of Nerd Life

Embrace your inner Lamda Lamda Lamda with this playlist.

“Whip It” by DEVO
“Burning Down The House” by Talking Heads
“Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel
“Radio, Radio” by Elvis Costello and The Attractions
“Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure
“Head Like A Hole” by Nine Inch Nails
“Come Talk To Me” by Peter Gabriel
“Mrs. Robinson” by Simon & Garfunkel
“Baby’s On Fire” by Brian Eno
“Wonderwall” by Oasis
“Tom Sawyer” by Rush
“Roundabout” by Yes