"What Part of Los Angeles You From, Mr. Nice Guy?" *pregnant pause* "Right by the Beach!"
By chubbuni13
updated 2 days ago
OK, so maybe you haven't seen that excellent stoner epic, Half Baked. Or maybe you think I'm being a little too fast and loose appropriating dialog from the film. Whatever... Still, I'm sure most will agree that Los Angeles' multitude of beaches are some of the finest in the nation. Here are some of my favorite beaches and things to do while you're there.
Whoever wants to hang out with this Guidetripper (meaning ME) should check out Manhattan Beach—further south, but less touristy and tons of hot surfer boys. And after we’re all tan & hungry, we can have muffins at the Kettle!
The model namesake of its famous Italian counterpart, Venice was originally built to showcase a wide array of canals serviced by irate gondoliers hassling customers for money, just like in the old country. Now it’s one of the premier places in LA to see strange street buskers and performance artists… hassling you for money. Which makes you think that the more things change, the more they really stay the same.
Directly adjacent from the famous Muscle Beach, it’s fun just to go here and see what the meatheads from the gym order. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they started to offer creatine and assorted amino acids on the menu.
Directly adjacent from the famous Muscle Beach, it’s fun just to go here and see what the meatheads from the gym order. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they started to offer creatine and assorted amino acids on the menu.
Muscle Beach Wannabe
Gimme a shot of white, the clear and the stuff, stat!
The Otheroom
1201 Abbot Kinney Blvd., Venice, CA 90291
A funky open air bar conveniently located in Venice’s hip Abbot Kinney neighborhood, The Otheroom offers a wide variety of beer and wine and allow patrons to order food from surrounding restaurants.
Technically located in the city of Marina Del Rey, C&O nevertheless brings huge portions of food at reasonable prices to the teeming masses at Venice Beach. It is a little kitschy (the whole restaurant staff sings “That’s Amore” once an hour) but the food is especially delicious after a long day at the beach.
Technically located in the city of Marina Del Rey, C&O nevertheless brings huge portions of food at reasonable prices to the teeming masses at Venice Beach. It is a little kitschy (the whole restaurant staff sings “That’s Amore” once an hour) but the food is especially delicious after a long day at the beach.
Santa Monica Beach
Arguably the heart of the beach culture in Los Angeles, Santa Monica boasts shopping and nightlife along with its beachy attractions. This is probably why it’s always overrun by tourists and looky-loo’s and also contributes to the near impossibility in finding a parking space.
My girlfriend used to volunteer at this aquarium for years and years. As a former sushi chef, I can’t say that I share the same love for ichthyology as she does, but I suppose we all must make sacrifices in the name of love. Free admission (well, suggested donation is $5).
My girlfriend used to volunteer at this aquarium for years and years. As a former sushi chef, I can’t say that I share the same love for ichthyology as she does, but I suppose we all must make sacrifices in the name of love. Free admission (well, suggested donation is $5).
Lemme hear you say oooh, “oooh!”, lemme hear you say “ahhh”, “ahhh!”.
Dockweiler RV Park
Los Angeles, CA 90012
My buddy who’s an LAPD officer refuses to answer calls in this area and will feign any sort of sickness or condition including explosive diarrhea to avoid the Dockweiler RV Park. The stories he’s told me about this place are unbelievable.
Malibu Beach
Whatever way you get there, Malibu’s quite the drive from Los Angeles. Still, even today with gas reaching $4.50 a gallon, I find it’s nice to make the drive up… for assorted reasons both practical and a tad bit malicious.
David Geffen's House
22050 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA 90265
Long noted for his philanthropy and dedication to the ideals espoused by the Democratic party, Geffen nevertheless maintains a staunch Conservative bias when it comes to private property rights. After 19 years of refusing to let people access the public beach directly in front of his mansion, he’s finally acquiesced in letting us peasants deign to walk by his meticulously guarded beach retreat. As a dedicated believer in egalitarianism, I make my disdain to him known by kicking sand on his shrubbery whenever I get the chance.
Their slogan is “we don’t serve breakfast because we’re too busy catching your lunch”. Their clam chowder and fish and chips is ridiculously good, although fighting off the seagulls kind of takes away from the atmosphere of the place.
Their slogan is “we don’t serve breakfast because we’re too busy catching your lunch”. Their clam chowder and fish and chips is ridiculously good, although fighting off the seagulls kind of takes away from the atmosphere of the place.
The Good Old Days
Them ethnics need to go back to their own beaches! Like Dockweiler!
In the vein of the Watts Towers, Dockweiler is a place I like to take out-of-towners to maintain my street cred as a tough denizen of gritty, urban LA. Located near Los Angeles Airport, Dockweiler attracts its fair share of gangsters, thugs and rapscallions. This is probably further supported by their liberal alcohol possession policies as well as being one of the only beaches in SoCal that still allows bonfires. Just make sure you wear neutral Earth tones if you decide to go… fashion statements involving blue or red clothing are just going to get you in trouble.
A Typical Day at Dockweiler State Beach
Crime doesn’t pay unless you’re a fine, fine character actor like my man, Christian Bale.
I go to the airport about ten times a year and without fail, I always see at least two or three attractive women loitering around every time that I’m there. Of course I think my girlfriend would voice her severe displeasure if I decided to act upon my animal instincts, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t try. Plus, lots of chicks like that surfer guy vibe, and Dockweiler’s right next door.
I go to the airport about ten times a year and without fail, I always see at least two or three attractive women loitering around every time that I’m there. Of course I think my girlfriend would voice her severe displeasure if I decided to act upon my animal instincts, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t try. Plus, lots of chicks like that surfer guy vibe, and Dockweiler’s right next door.
Beach Pizza
8115 W. Manchester Ave, Playa Del Rey, CA 90293
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Click here to log in.I’m planning a vacation to LA right now and this guide totally helps. Thank you!
Whoever wants to hang out with this Guidetripper (meaning ME) should check out Manhattan Beach—further south, but less touristy and tons of hot surfer boys. And after we’re all tan & hungry, we can have muffins at the Kettle!
This guide is AWESOME!!!