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The Guide to the Best Inventions for the Single Man

By jimthedoctorirelan | updated 23 days ago

A keen insight into the PG needs of the single male brain.

Number 1 Best Invention: The Spork

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What greater invention could a single guy need? It can be used for anything.

Where to buy a spork

Number 3 Best Invention: Ramen Noodles

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Cheap, tasty, easy to prepare, what more could a guy want? It can get a little boring (even for a man) eating Ramen Noodles all the time, so, they are versatile enough to add some ingredients to experiment with to try and add some variety to your life. WARNING!! There is only one rule to experimenting with Ramen Noodles that you MUST NOT break: DO NOT use peanut butter for experimentation.

Stores that carry Ramen Noodles

Number 5 Best Invention: The Can Opener

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In order to use your spork and achieve the fine dining experience of a can of corn, one must have easy access to opening the can. You do not want a man using a butcher knife to open a can, it is not a pretty sight.

Can openers

Number 7 Best Invention: The Koozy and The Beer Helmet

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Nothing better to keep your drink cool when watching tv, taking a bathroom break, heating up a can of peas, or going to get more sporks.

Locating a koozy

Number 9 Best Invention: The Reclining Chair

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Now the man doesn’t need to get up for anything (except the bathroom).

Furniture

Honorable Mention: Cheetos

 

Number 2 Best Invention: Fast Food Restaurants

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The next best invention for the single man is the fast food restaurant. No self-respecting man would ever spend the $1.50 to get his own spork, so he gathers his spork supplies from the fast food restaurants. It ends up you can get cheap food there too.

Fast food restaurants

Number 4 Best Invention: Canned Food

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Sometimes, a man wants something else for dinner, besides Ramen, and cracks open a can of corn, or peas, or beans, or chilli, the possibilities are endless. It can be eaten cold or warmed, depending on the man’s aversion level to work of preparing and canned food can also be used to accentuate Ramen. WARNING!! Even though you can put an open can into the refrigerator to have later, you CANNOT warm up the can in the microwave.

Locations that carry canned food

Number 6 Best Invention: The Bacillus Mesentericus Inhibitor of Propionate

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A preservative in cheese that makes it where you can eat cold pizza that has been sitting out all night and not get sick.

Pizza

Number 8 Best Invention: The Plasma TV

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For the men who are really serious about watching tv, playing video games and some other stuff we won’t talk about (there is a reason he is a single man).

Plasma Television Shopping

The only kind of shopping a man will do.

Number 10 Best Invention: The Internet

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This is where the single man’s real personality shines. We all know how this is really used and why it should be number 1, but we are shooting for a PG rating.

The internet came up with funny stuff like this site

Another Honerable Mention: Twinkies

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