Public Transportation Horror Stories

Cheeto Smacker

I hate you so much, Cheeto-eater bus rider— cause not only are you filthy with your greasy, orange powdered paws, you probably make a popping sound when you suck on each sodium ridden finger tip of yours. Srsly, if you’re that hungry to inhale your own body parts, just go buy another bag.

Asshole Who Runs After the Bus

While it is pretty hilarious to watch some poor sucker bust balls to catch up to the bus, I still hate the shit out of him. Thank you for guilting the bus driver into pulling over for your sorry ass to only meet a red light and delay us, commuters who follow the bus schedule, by another 10 minutes.

No Lip Smacking Allowed

Especially if you’re unattractive. We all hate annoying couples

Bus Driver with a Schtick

No, this is not Comedy Central, and I don’t need or want to hear your bit. Don’t try to be funny, or engage me via microphone with your schtick. Just drive.

Big Ass Dog is Blocking my Way!

Okay, I get it, you’re blind or whatever, but don’t you realize how much of an inconvenience your dog is to me when you schlep him onto the bus and cramp him into the aisle where I would stretch my feet?

Obnoxious Earpiece/Cell phone Guy

Dear Asshole,

Please get off the phone when you’re on the bus.

Thank you,
Seattle_Cameron

From This and That blog.