Breaking the Rules in New York

by aliciak
4 contributors
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January 17, 2009
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"Rules were meant to be broken" my mother always said. And like a good daughter, I obeyed her! Supposedly I have a sneaky, scheming, plotting look in my eyes that has been there from the beginning. Combine that with some cuteness, and I can pretty much get away with murder. It's really a curse to have these attributes, as I never learn a lesson if I keep getting away with things! Five years in New York=lots of time to break the rules in one of the most exciting cities in the world. What have YOU done? Stayed on the subway to see the hidden stops? Jumped a fence to sneak into McCarren? Used a fake ID? Come on, give me the good stuff.

Skipping Out on the Check

Okay, for the record it was only $5. And I understand that Le Pain Quotidien goes about check-leaving the French way, i.e., they will NEVER ask YOU if you want the check, you have to flag the waiter down and ask. BUT, the waiter never checked up on us, in over an hour, after only 1 cup of coffee a piece. I’m sorry, but you’re asking for it. And you know what, I got tired of waiting. So, I looked into his eyes across from me at the little cafe table and said, “let’s go.” And so we did, running down Madison Avenue.

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Grifting Uncle Sam

Why do most women hate wearing a bra so much? Maybe it’s because I have such little experience wearing brassieres – or taking them off of suspect women for that matter – but I think it would be fabulous if the bro/manssiere thing really took Madison Ave. by storm.

With that, I always thought that tax avoidance (and sometimes evasion) is always a fruitful and worthy pursuit… not that I ever do that of course, but you have to give it up to the truly scandalous financial shirkers in our great country.

added by chubbuni13 09/11/2008

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Turnstile Jumping

…or what I like to call, the gate squeeze. Turnstile jumping is risky, yes, if you are attempting it in front of an MTA employee, but squeezing multiple people into one of the gates is risky AND is a much more physical feat of strength. And therefore much more interesting to me. Okay, so I corrupted some minors once or twice in the form of the two kids I was a nanny for, but we didn’t have enough subway fare! So we did the gate squeeze and only shelled out $2 for all three of us. Setting a good example? Perhaps not. Forming lasting memories? Definitely.

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Filming in forbidden locations

Coffee Slut is my best friend. You can stick us in an empty room with no windows and we will have a blast and somehow manage to get ourselves in trouble at the same time. I was out with her a couple of months ago. We were trying to go to an improv show but because of crappy weekend train service and leaving late because we were engrossed in a doc on Paris we didn’t make it. There was a rain storm coming and we had friends to meet up with later so instead of heading up town or back home we went to the new Barnes and Noble in my ‘hood.

We were sitting in the cafe and we decided to do our own improv. We ended up in a quiet aisle in the self help section and decided we were going to do “Arm Chair Readings” and film it on Coffee Slut’s camera. We would pick a book at random like, Depression for Dummies, and read sections to the camera and make comments or give a scarcastic review of the book we had never read. We were cracking up and having great time and then we decided to move to the astrology section. I was recording Coffee Slut at the time and then I noticed someone arranging books out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, the lady worked there and came over to us. She told us we were not allowed to record in there and kindly kicked us out. Sigh. If only she knew how funny it was she never would have stopped us. I would love to include some of the videos but unfortunately Coffee Slut’s camera erased them. Boo.

added by HelenaHandbasket 09/10/2008

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Whole Foods Market

10 Columbus Cir Ste Sc101, New York, NY 10019

Sampling from the $7.99 salad bar…I BOUGHT a salad though, but my hunger headache was killing me!

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Under Aged Drinking

I lived in Queens and hung out in Lower Manhattan in my late teens and early 20s for two reasons:

1. Although I looked like I was 12, I could always get beer at a Korean grocer.

2. After drinking lots of beer in the city I could always get home on the subway. No DUIs.

added by Vincente 12/05/2008

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Discussions

: by chelsea 09/10/2008 Reply

Ha, love it. Funny I actually got SENT HOME from school when I was a kid for CLIMBING UP THE SLIDE like your picture. Sent home??? Isn’t that a bit extreme?

: by helenahandbasket 09/10/2008 Reply

Love this! I have some stories…not sure how many I can share here lol!

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About The Author

aliciak

Tribeca

I like to: crochet, eat, read, write, go to museums, watch old movies, cook, bake, observe children, visit the library, travel, cut my own hair, explore New York, mix gin drinks, bike ride, take photographs, keep in touch with people, be crafty, swim in the ocean, make bets, and read blogs and ca...