An English Teacher's Worst Nightmare OR Books I Gave Up Trying to Read

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I'm a pretty voracious reader, but I'm not really the most patient person in the world. So, if a book fails to reel me in, I usually give up, because really, who wants to put time and effort into a cruddy book? But at the same time, I'm sort of embarrassed for being such a quitter, especially when someone brings up how "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" changed their life. But I digress. Want to join the Guidespot Book (Quitter) Club?

Infinite Jest

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I heard such good things about David Foster Wallace so I really wanted to read something of his. And I heard amazing things about this book. So, done. Except it’s like a billion pages. And I was totally bored. I’m still made at myself for only getting to page 100 and then putting it down. Forever.

added by Susie 06/26/2009
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by elisa  06/26/2009

I’m so glad you put this on here! Everyone talks about how brilliant this is, but its sheer size alone has made me scared to read it! Congrats on getting to page 100! I’d probably only make it to 25.

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by susie  06/29/2009

I seriously kept pushing myself to continue reading, but then I realized that I had NO idea what was going on and I was just wasting time. So I quit!!

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by susie  07/21/2009

I know someone who is obsessed w/ it and talks abt it non-stop. He says I just need to read it to “get” why it’s so great. I don’t think having it on my shelf makes me look smart. Just full of shame :(

Anna Karenina

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My book club read this book so I started reading it too. I missed the last meeting and I never finished the book. I only had about 200 pages left.

I just didn’t care about any of the characters and I felt no need to read the end to find out what happened to them. Once she gave up her son for the crazy young guy I was pretty much done with her.

I’m not sure why this is a classic. On a side note: I love this image I didn’t know Scarlett also played Anna.

added by Shawna 06/26/2009
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by elisa  06/26/2009

I don’t know why, but I think it’s funny when book clubs read classics… Anyway, I had to read this in college, and I managed to read the whole thing, but I’m not sure if I’d be able to read it now!

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by susie  07/01/2009

This is a total book club book!! I want to read this too, but don’t know if I have the energy/patience.

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by elisa  07/01/2009

I remember liking it a lot, but it probably requires some patience if you’re reading it for enjoyment as opposed to reading it for a grade!

"A Wolf at the Table"-- Augusten Burroughs

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I liked “Running With Scissors,” and I LOVED “Dry,” but I had a really hard time reading this book. While “Dry” is pretty heavy going (it details Burrough’s struggles with alcoholism), he made it funny and enthralling. However, this book, which is about his abusive father, was just too dark a topic for me.

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by tashahale  06/29/2009

I LOVE DRY I seriously read it over and over again!

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by elisa  06/30/2009

I don’t blame you— it’s so good!

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by elisa  06/30/2009

I read the first 30 pages and it made me sad! Glad I didn’t finish it!

"On Beauty"-- Zadie Smith

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I consider “White Teeth” to be one of my favorite books, so I was really excited when “On Beauty” came out, but for some reason or another, I totally lost interest in this book and stopped reading it after a couple chapters.

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by aliciak  06/24/2009

I finished it, but ditto. Feeling of “meh.”

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by elisa  06/26/2009

Such a shame— White Teeth was SO good!

"The Corrections"-- Jonathan Franzen

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I have tried reading this book MULTIPLE times, but I just can’t get past the first couple pages. And since I have to yet to hear from anyone whether it’s actually worth it, the motivation department is still out to lunch on this one.

"Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell"-- Susanna Clarke

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This book was hailed as a kind of adult version of “Harry Potter,” and as result I was very intent on reading it, even despite it’s serious heft. And I don’t know if the book gets good after the first 100 pages or so, but I just couldn’t grasp what was going on, and being somewhat of a quitter I just gave up. I know, I’m terrible.

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by poorluckyme  07/01/2009

It took me a full year to read this and it was totally worth it. It’s really really good; please give it another try!

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by shawna  07/01/2009

Wow a year to read a book – I don’t know I could put that much effort into it. Was there a point where you flew through it?

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by elisa  07/01/2009

I’ve heard it’s really awesome— but the beginning was hard to get through. I’m sure I’ll try it again one day— I figure if I can read “Bleak House” I can read this too!

"Love in the Time of Cholera"-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

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I know this supposed to be one of the great books of the 20th century, but I just couldn’t read it! I don’t know what it was, but I just found the whole thing very hard to digest. I feel like SUCH a philistine.

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by susie  06/29/2009

I was considering reading this, but I guess maybe I won’t. It is summer after all.

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by elisa  06/30/2009

Well, it might be a little heavy going for summer reading, but who knows, you might love it!

"Life of Pi"-- Yann Martel

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Ok, so I know everyone (or lots of people,) absolutely loved this book, but I’m going to have to disagree. Admittedly, I didn’t try to read this under the best reading conditions, but I found the whole thing to be far from enthralling, and needless to say, I didn’t finish the book.

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by shawna  06/24/2009

I didn’t want to read this no matter how many people reccommended it. I read and it was ok but again not great.

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by elisa  06/25/2009

Phew! Now I feel a lot better :)

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by elisa  06/26/2009

Yay! Another person to reconfirm my disdain for Life of Pi!

"The Savage Detectives"-- Roberto Bolano

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I heard great things about this book from my friends, and the New York Times loved it, so I was like “I totally gotta read this!” But it sort of reminded me of “Love in the Time of Cholera,” and not surprisingly I couldn’t read this either!

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by matt_fried  07/20/2009

The protagonist just strikes me as a bit whiny and pretentious – which, maybe that’s where the humor is? I don’t know…

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by elisa  07/20/2009

I don’t know what it was, but I read the first 20 pages or so and it was like trying to swim though honey. Perhaps another try is in order?

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by matt_fried  07/20/2009

Perhaps…

Fortress of Solitude

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One word for this book: DENSE. Not exactly the breezy subway read of “Motherless Brooklyn”. Undoubtedly good, but also the kind of book you need a week off from work and no friends to read.

added by Matt Fried 07/22/2009
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by elisa  07/23/2009

I thought about reading this a couple times, but every time I read the back cover I decided against it. Have I been missing out??

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by matt_fried  07/23/2009

It’s good, but he’s trying write a modern-day Dickens. So, because there are LOTS of details, it takes forever to get through.

 

The Satanic Verses

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I still plan on finishing this book but the last time I read a page in this book was about 6 months ago. I feel like I have to read it not like I want to read it.

added by Shawna 06/23/2009
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by elisa  06/23/2009

I feel like I ought to read this because it’s considered to be the best novel of the 20th century (or something like that)— but I feel like I’d have an experience similar to yours!

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by chelsea  07/21/2009

I’ve been meaning to read this for a long time also.

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by shawna  07/23/2009

If you get to it can you just tell me what happens in the end because I have not gotten there yet!

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

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I know it’s a classic, so I tried soo hard. But I just could not. It has been a longgg while though, so maybe I’ll give it another go. Kind of dreading the thought though.

added by Susie 06/26/2009
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by elisa  06/26/2009

You know, I think I might have read this for a class in high school. And since I can’t really remember, I’m guessing that I wasn’t all that impressive!

"Blink"-- Malcolm Gladwell

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When this first came out I started to read this in a bookstore and I remember thinking “how fascinating!” But when I picked this up a month or so ago, I just couldn’t get into it.

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by susie  06/26/2009

I LOVED this but i skipped over most of the “war strategy” section. Blah. The Tipping point was better.

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by elisa  06/26/2009

I thought the beginning part about the art was fascinating, and then I just lost interest. I also have The Tipping Point— maybe I should start with that first!

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by susie  07/21/2009

It’s totally psych for dumb people. Well not dumb, but common. But still, it’s totally entertaining and gets you thinking, so it can’t be that bad. I enjoy it!

"I Was Told There'd Be Cake"-- Sloane Crosley

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I was very excited when I read reviews of this book, and when I saw it was on the “buy one get one half off table” at Borders, I just couldn’t resist. But I was pretty disappointed with this. I was expecting a female David Sedaris, and Crosley just didn’t really deliver.

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by aliciak  06/24/2009

You know what the problem is? She’s not a good writer. There, I said it.

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by elisa  06/24/2009

Haha. I wholeheartedly agree!

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by elisa  07/21/2009

I agree— the pony story was probably the best one. But that made the book totally misleading since that was the first story!

"Atlas Shrugged"-- Ayn Rand

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So after I graduated from college, I took a mind-numbing job, and after a while I was convinced I was getting dumber as a result. So, I decided to create a highbrow reading list for myself to keep my brain cells alive and my first book was “Atlas Shrugged.” Perhaps I started off too ambitiously, but needless to say, the highbrow reading list did not last long.

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by shawna  06/23/2009

You should try this again – It is one of my favs

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by elisa  06/23/2009

I know, I should. People really love Ayn Rand, and I want to be one of those people!

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by shawna  07/22/2009

@ghosty – I wasn’t going to reveal that I skimmed the long long long and lonnng speech but I did too. The book I borrowed actually had sections underlined so I just read those.

One Hundred Years of Solitude

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I haven’t yet read the other Marquez on here, but I really couldn’t see what the big deal was in regards to this book. Everyone loves it, EVERYONE. I thought it was crap. I also hate magical realism 9 times out of 10, so that’s part of it.

added by aliciak 06/24/2009
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by elisa  06/24/2009

Yay! More Marquez! We should really start a club.

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by shawna  06/24/2009

I read it, I enjoyed it but I didn’t love it. I think I missed some deep message or something.

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by karey_ann  06/27/2009

Whaaaaaa?? Marquez on this list twice?? OMG, I need to go have a good cry . . . Alicia, I feel the most apart from you I have since before we first met . . . I’m crushed, really.

Well, this is embarrasing...

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Don’t tell anyone, or they’ll strip my English degree. I just couldn’t do it. Maybe I’ll have to try again when I’m all grown up.

added by Elissa 06/26/2009
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by elisa  06/26/2009

Are you kidding? That’s like one of the hardest books known to man! I was an English major, and I feel no guilt whatsoever about having NO DESIRE to even attempt this book.

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by susie  06/29/2009

I think I’m just not really a James Joyce fan. Though I have to say The Dubliners wasn’t really horrible. I want to like him, but I just cannot do it.

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by susie  07/23/2009

OK, good to know. Just don’t try to make me read Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man again. ughhhh.

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no kidding most boring book ever. We were suppost to read it in high school. When we got to this book, after page 16 my english teacher threw the book down and said “Does anybody have the movie!?” and that was that.

added by tashahale 07/09/2009
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by elisa  07/09/2009

I can’t believe this. Your English teacher REALLY said that??

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by tashahale  07/10/2009

true story

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by tashahale  07/22/2009

i was with the rest of the class i just couldnt get in to it. not says Jane Austen is a bad writer shes just not my style. but i did enjoy the movie.

Democracy in America

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As brilliant as the observations are, this book is a book-club killer. If you don’t like the people in your book club and need a way to shoo them off, then recommend this book. I got through about 40 pages and I read more than anyone in our book club (the book club didn’t survive). What I read was interesting in a “wow this guy is really smart” sort of way, but it’s drier than a mouthful of Saltine crackers.

added by Head 07/21/2009
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by elisa  07/21/2009

I am appalled that someone would recommend this as a book club book— is this some kind of intellectually sadistic book club? Kudos to you for even attempting this— I would have flat out refused!

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by tashahale  07/22/2009

zzzzzzzzz

Eat, Pray, Love

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You had me until midway through India, Liz.

added by Matt Fried 07/22/2009
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by elisa  07/23/2009

Matt Fried, I applaud you for even picking up this book. Never mind making it 1/3 of the way through it!

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by matt_fried  07/23/2009

If you like that, then check this out. http://tinyurl.com/d4d7gv

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by susie  07/23/2009

No kidding. I don’t know many men who would attempt this. My boyfriend read the man version and I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear about the movie!

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Discussions

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I love love this guide. I think we should also do one on books we love to read! I’m always on the look out for great reads.

About The Author

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elisa Rss 

"The Valley"
Favorite Food: Japanese; Favorite Drink: Pyramid Apricot Ale; Favorite Music: KCRW; Favorite Book: Middlesex; Favorite TV Show: 30 Rock; Favorite Movie: Amelie; Favorite Golden Girl: Blanche