25 White House Pets That Are Better Than Bo the Dog

#25 Super Strong Chinese Steroid Monkeys

Like regular monkeys, only a million times stronger.

#23 Ferocious Liger

#20 A Jovial Sasquatch named Harry

#19 Ants that participate in sports

#17 Blue Footed Boobies

haha…boobies

#15 A Well Trained Panda Bear

for Sasha and Malia

#13 A Swarthy Crab

Jim Beam = How you get crabs

#12 Gigantor Rabbit

Does NOT come with Bill Cosby sweater guy

#9 A Sexy Monkey

#7 Somali Pirate Fighting Shark

#5 Ninja Dolphin

Hi-ya!!

#3 Killer Face Biting Snake

[no caption necessary]

#1 Bald Eagle

USA…USA…USA

#24 Laser Fighter Dolphins

Byoo…Byoo…Byoo. Laser Beam Fighter Dolphin to the rescue. Somali Pirate Scum Beware!!!

#22 A Goose that Lays Federal Bailout Eggs

#21 A Mean Unicorn

Frrp…

#18 Amphibeous Rodent Beer Wench

Get me another beer, Muskrat beer aminal thing.

#16 An Ornery Kangaroo

To keep away pesky media types

#14 A Robot Firefighter

Not technically an animal…but shit…come on, robot firefighters are bad-ass.

#11 A Spigerman

Half Tiger. Half Spiderman. All FAIL

#10 A Miniature Human

look at that cute little guy…

#8 Pre-historic Fish Thingy

What the hell is this thing? I don’t know either, but I know it’s better than a stupid Portuguese Water Dog.

#6 A Toilet-Trained Grizzly Bear

#4 Twin 500 pound Gorillas

That’s 1000 pounds of pure Bad-assness

#2 Dinosaur

Obama did lift that ban on stem cell research. It’s only a matter of time now…

Wild Banana Dogs

Vicious protectors of freedom, and high in potassium to boot.