Ditch Your Car. Ride Your Bike to Work.

Step One: To be a true bike commuter, you need to look the part.

Give the ladies something to drool over by exposing the oh-so-sexy sliver of your calf between your rolled up jeans and your black socks.

Step Three: Purchase a brain bucket

There’s the right way…there’s the wrong way….and then, well and then there’s the bucket way…

Step Three and three quarters: DON'T wear a beret helmet

Le Tour de Dork French Beret Helmet (with Laser beams?)

For some reason I can envision this product being sold in SkyMall.

Step Four: Don't be that guy who talks on his phone while riding

(a) It’s dangerous.

(b) you look like a total jackass.

If you are really so important that you can’t go twenty minutes without talking on your phone, at least get a hands free device like this one.

Step Five: Randomly Inserted Gratuitous Boob Picture

Tip: There’s nothing more embarrassing than showing up to an important meeting with massive boob sweat.

Bring an extra shirt with you to work. You’ll want to change out into a fresh one once you reach your office.

Step Numero Cinco: Geeky Messenger Bag -- A Must!!

Up up down down left right left right B A select start.

Step Six: Put your crap in bags

Pack your lunch, you change of clothes, and your worky-type stuff into your saddle bags for your morning commute.

Step Two: Understand that Rules of Road No Longer Apply.

One great thing about commuting by bike is you no longer have to follow the rules of the road…It’s like a license to become a complete asshole. Stop signs become optional; red lights? Forget em…do whatever you want.

Step Three and a half: Don't purchase an actual brain bucket

This will not help you in a crash. It will only subject you to ridicule from neighborhood kids.

Watch out for metorites...

More dangerous than grizzly bears…

Circle Jerks

A hands-free celular device can save your life

Blue Tooth enthusiast, Mike Gaines.

Step Six point Five. Don't put your crap on one of these things.

Remember, don’t try to pack too much with you on your morning commute. It makes for difficult maneuvering around city streets.