I recently read that this is now the most watched show in the World. So, when a 10 year old in Norway, or Bangladesh, thinks of The United States they are really thinking about David Caruso. They picture America as a land full of strange homicides, flashy edits, really shiny cars and clothing, and Bad, Bad, Bad Acting. Even by modern TV standards this show is shameful in it’s awfulness. Why couldn’t The Sopranos, The Wire, or The Office be the most watched show in the world. At least then people in far off lands would know that there was some good writing and good acting to be found here. But no, instead we send them Horatio Caine, and his idiotic Sunglasses.
The company that, more than any other, destroyed everything nice about America. Small towns in this country were once wonderful and pleasent places. They were all unique and delightful places to live. Each one had a little main street or town square and there was a place to eat, and a place to buy groceries or get your car fixed. There was a hardware store, and a shop that sold clothes. People earned money in the town and spent it in the town, and life was rosy. Not anymore. Now, every small town has nothing in it, nothing at all. But 5 miles outside of town, sitting in a charmless parking lot the size of a small lake, is a Wal-Mart. Everyone in the town buys everything there, because they have no other choice. And the money goes off to a mega-corporation, and to China, where they keep making cheap plastic garbage for us to buy, and break, and throw away, and re-buy. And what was the upside of this deal with the devil? Well, now America is more homogenized and a lot less interesting. Because with the Wal-Marts come the Taco Bells, the Jiffy Lubes, the KFC’s, and the stripmalls that are identical in every town. Now Tempe, Arizona looks, more or less, exactly like Ashville, Kentucky, and Burlington, Vermont. And Sally in Lockjaw, Idaho can wear the same awful shirt as Betty in Cribdeath, Iowa. What a disaster.
The Boy Band has been America’s most important contribution to the world of music in the last quarter century. Think about that and try to sleep at night. We were once the nation that gave the world Ragtime, The Blues, Jazz, and Rock and Roll. Now we give them N’Sync. Is it any wonder that so many people hate us?
We are the fatties of the world, and we are just getting fatter every year. 30 years ago 1 in 25 second graders was overweight. Now, 1 in 8 is. In Europe people just assume that you are an American if you are fat. I know a chubby Irishman, living in Germany, who is frequently mistaken for an American when he is eating in a restaurant. Our food is drenched in fat and we eat ridiculous amounts of it. Even the poorest people in our country get fat, more so than any other group. If you drive into a town and everyone is morbidly obese, you know that you are in a poor community. If you are poor in Darfur, or India, getting fat is not a worry. Only in America. And we steadfastly refuse to excercise. The average American walks a little less than 300 yards in a week. This is really a national short-coming. Oh, the humanity.
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Click here to log in.So, do you actually know anything about the presidents you cited as being embarrassments? Do you actually have anything worthwhile or intelligent to say? I mean if you’re going to write insulting and factually opinionated stuff, don’t you think it should actually contain some knowledge instead of ignorant shots at people about whom you know nothing? And, failing that, don’t you think you should make it at least a little bit funny? One thing that IS embarrassing about this country is its penchant for producing effete, untalented, smug, spoiled little jackasses who think they’re writers.
I was just about to add that the children were not sitting in an American McDonald’s. Fattest man in the world lives in Mexico, right? Your article sucks – it’s cliche and easy to write about how horrible the U.S. is. Try a little harder next time.
Excellent writing. I really enjoyed the article and your selections, and I’ve got your back on Kansas. Ya’ll Kansans stop complaining and clean up your rep by sweeping out some of the crazy.
The picture of the kid is NOT IN AMERICA. LOOK HERE the sign is not in english or in any language I know.
Kansas is a beautiful state, rich with history and not all of us are bible thumping rednecks. So what’s up Colorado, what about that shithole you call Boulder? What a tool, let me guess; has “the poorest tourist” ever even bothered to check out a city like Lawrence before passing down his hipster, pretentious opinion?
Ok, I don’t know what America hating, Birkenstock and tie-dye wearing, granola munching communist wrote this bullshit, but I’d like to kick him in the nuts.
Paris Hilton #1? Seriously? Above Tonya Harding, herpes and boy bands??? And Kansas? Really? Only a pole smoking, cum guzzling homosexual who has never been to Okla-fucking-homa would ever claim Kansas is our most embarrassing state. I
How do I remove my thumbs up from this piece of shit?
Slavery is a stain on our country, just like the Holocaust is for Germany. But no country is perfect, and through this horrible institution America has thrived to be the nation it is today. I am very proud of my ancestry and this includes slavery because I know that my experience of my ancestors played a significant role in molding the legal and cultural uniqueness of the United States.
Sedgwick County Kansas Family Law gives children to bad parents in divorce to keep the children’s suffering going so the State can take more children from parents than just about any place in America! Look up Sedgwick County DA, SRS, Don Jordan, Richard Wexler, City Manager Pat Salerno that refused to take a $215,000 job in Wichita, and more!
I love CSI: Miami. It’s the best comedy on primetime right now. Stop bashing it. Do you think it’s easy acting as-if they were terrible actors like that? It’s very hard to do, but they are excellent at it. You really believe they are terrible actors, that’s the genius of it. And the writers are superb! You think it’s easy cramming so many tasteless one-liners in 42 minutes? You try!
Well, all right, but the slavery thing sort of irks me. Fact: although the USA was one of the last countries to abolish slavery, only about about 5* of all West African slaves came to this nation. The colonial powers of Britain and Portugal were far bigger players. A full *30 percent of all slaves were shipped to Brazil. Most of the rest went to the Caribbean. Why do we get all the guilt?
You forgot smug, hipster bloggers that think they are better than everyone else…
My apologies for the diatribe. However, there’s a significant misconception about Kansas. Yes, there are negative aspects, but; to dismiss it in this fashion is highly inappropriate. It’s good to look at our nation critically and hold it to a high standard. There are many points in this post that are sad, but true. Kansas is a state that the U.S. should uphold, not pander.
Kansas is also the home to or familial grounds to several important figures in U.S. history. One of the more significant being Dwight Eisenhower. President Eisenhower helped defeat the Nazi’s and eventually free the jews from the holocaust. If you’re looking for something more now, Barack Obama’s grandparents are from Kansas. He has the potential to do many positive things for the U.S.
Kansas was also a pivotal state in the twentieth century. Brown vs. Board of Education was a landmark case for the civil rights movement. It helped force public schools to desegregate. So, are you saying we should resort back to separate but equal?
Kansas has surprisingly been a pivotal state for significantly positive U.S. events. During the mid-nineteenth century it was the battleground for the “free” state movement. “Bleeding Kansas” is famous for the border fighting between Missouri over the issue of slavery. It became the cornerstone for free states inducted into the union. So are you saying slavery should have continued?
Wow, this may be the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Kudos to “Greg” for pointing out the incredibly obvious. You may want to take a closer look at #9 in that picture of the ten commandments you posted, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor”...you’re from Colorado right? Finally, don’t bash Kansas until you’ve spent time in Lawrence, a better version of any city CO has to offer.
And secondly, to Mr “ThePoorestTourist”, congratulations for contributing to the second biggest fad in the world: America Bashing. You honestly think people really hate American for Wal-Mart? For Paris Hilton? No. They hate America for our Government and for the way we (Deservedly, might I add) flaunt our power in the world. But you know what? Pandering to those idiots is no better. Move.
I agree with a lot of what you wrote. But rather than just bad mouthing America-or badmouthing the author of this post-maybe we should be thinking about ways in which we can improve America? Just a thought…
First off, to Mr. “EataDickLib”. You are a disgusting example of the idiots in the country that believe the word liberal is an insult rather than a tagline for progressive, forward-thinking, OPEN MINDED, change. The insult you’re most likely looking for is “idiot, shit-stirrer, hippie, or self-hating amerifag.”
Wow. You are a douchebag.
I’m thinking West Virginia should replace Kansas.
You suck; if you are so embarrassed, move away. Where would you go that you could be “proud” of your country. Nice freaking Donkey in the background. You know what is embarrassing about America. Fake people like yourself who live in Denver pretend to be crunchy and pro-environment living under the 2nd biggest smog cloud in the country.
My username says it all.
Grandpa Baron sold Hilton Hotels last year so the Hilton family cashed out and split. Paris received an inflated price for her Hilton stock and thats it! Poor baby.
The Office is indeed brilliant writing. Done by the British.
“It is the best of all the CSIs by far.”
Slavery is fourth?
I’d just like to point out that Burlington Vermont looks nothing like those other cookie-cutter strip-mall towns. Sure, we have a walmart two towns over in Williston, and there is a good bit of strip mall action in the outskirts of town, but downtown burlington is thriving with local business. In fact, I’d call Burlington the capital of the “Buy Local” movement.
Seriously one of the most non-thought-out lists I think I’ve read. This was just dumb dumbness. Did I mention I thought it was dumb
what a vision…NOT. But then again, you start off with Ronald McDonald – which sets the tone and expectation for the dribble to follow…
kansas isn’t actually all that bad
it has always been a free state (meaning, against slavery)
and have no shame, you are america
Those tourist statues are awesome, how did they know what my I looked like in 5 years?
The picture of the boy at McDonalds breaks my heart.
Um. Excuse me, I like CSI: Miami. And I don’t apologize. It is the best of all the CSIs by far.
But I love that Paris Hilton is worse than slavery.
This guide is awesome, though I am not ashamed of out boy bands….
OK, I’ll bite
Ok, but how about Japan? They have a lot more to answer for than we do.
I bring you exhibit A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BtNN6M97q8
I’ve thought before: maybe we should start posting “We’re sorry about all this” signs around all the borders, just to put it out there for anyone coming in. Maybe erect a really big one you can see from space too.
Great guide but I think you need to add reality TV to your list…
awesome.