The Best and The Worst iPhone Applications

Hold Button

I’m almost hesitant to put this one in the Worst category. It’s a ridiculous idea, but a part of me is tempted to see how long I could hold it.

But then I think what’s the point? I’m just a schmuck holding a stupid button. What do I win? Nothing. I’m just a chick who got dupped into holding a damn button.

iFart

There are more than 25 fart apps available for download. Twenty-five!! Why? A fart is a fart! I could understand if most iPhone users were between the ages of 8-14 – farts and other bodily functions are hysterical at that age – but I know a 30-something who thinks this is the best app ever.

Seriously? You’re just as bad as the TWSS guy. You think you’re hilarious for driving people nuts with the mysterious fart. You’re still an idiot with an iPhone. At least use a whoopie-cushion. At least that requires some effort.

That's What She Said

I find it incredibly annoying when someone interrupts a conversation with “That’s what she said.” The first time it might be funny, but the third, fourth and fifth only make me want to slap you. The fact that there is now an iPhone app that allows you to annoy people with this stupid phrase blows my mind.

I can see the appeal. You’re in the middle of a meeting and your boss sets you up, but you don’t want to be caught saying TWSS. So you press the button and now everyone is giggling, except your boss, who is wondering who said it. Oh yeah, it’s the jackass with the iPhone in his hand.

Knock it off.

SimStapler

SimCity and The Sims are two really popular games. I guess the developer behind this one thought that building and running your own city was too much. SimStapler lets you simulate, well what else, stapling.

You may now “ooh” and “ahh.”

The Mulletizer

Why?

This is practically punishment.

No one looks good in a mullet.

This .99 app offers you more than one mullet style to choose from. Take your pick among the MacGuyver, the Hockey Head, the Kentucky Waterfall, and the Canadian Passport, to name a few. Why you’d want to, I don’t know.

AIM - Free

You’d think that the iPhone could sport a better chat app than this. There’s no mute, no icon updates. It’s a big fat fail.

The Vanity App - $3

For only $3 the Vanity iPhone app will rank your attractiveness on a scale from 1 to 10. Think of it as the Hot or Not for iPhones. So now not only do I have to worry about people on the street judging me, I have to watch out for my iPhone, too? No thanks.

Passion - $4.99

What is with these apps lately? Why would I want to pay $5 to have an app rate how good I am in bed?

Zombie School

Zombie School depicts classmates or teachers as zombies, after which you can use a machine gun, bow or grenades to kill them.

The developer went around forums saying that it’s just like “promoting school shooting!” It seems that the app has since been removed from the app store.

GPush - $.99

GPush falls somewhere in the middle for me. It’s not amazing, but it doesn’t suck either. It doesn’t open emails, or send emails, it just lets you know when new ones arrive, as soon as they arrive, and no matter what you’re doing. Two bugs have been discovered, but they’re not deal breakers.

ATM Hunter

I LOVE this app. I rarely, if ever, carry cash around with me. I really should because I’d probably spend less if my card wasn’t so accessible, but that’s a topic for my mother to lecture me about at a later time. The ATM Hunter allows users to locate the nearest ATM no matter where they are in the world.

The best part is that it lets users customize the search to their needs as well like searching for specific bank ATMs to avoid cash withdrawal fees. Woo hoo!

City Transit

It’d be great if each city had something like this. The City Transit app is really only beneficial to New Yorkers right now. If you live in NYC, this service not only gives you a full MTA subway map, but also provides a location based stop-finder, and updates of service interruptions. It’s well worth the $2.99, you know, if you live in NYC.

Rimshot

Okay, I think most people would place this in the Worst category, but I’m easily amused. “Rimshot allows you to add sound effects to ordinarily boring and dull circumstances and make them extraordinary!”

After further consideration there is no doubt this would end up in the Worst category. I can think of many moments where I’d tell a joke (that is funny only to me) and inserting the “Badum Tssss!” sound – that would only crack me up more.

Ms. Pac Man

Need I explain my reasons for this? It’s a classic game regardless of platform, whether it’s in an arcade or on Nintendo. Bringing it to the iPhone was an excellent choice. It looks good, has solid controls and it brings back such fun memories of your youth!

Monopoly

Monopoly is a game that I have to schedule time in order to play. It’s a classic game that everyone loves, or hates, or loves to hate. I think it can also go into the Worst category. Those who hate it will be tempted to throw their iPhone across the room.

Catcha Mouse

When I got my iPhone I refused to put games on it, because I knew I’d get addicted to them. But one day I got bored waiting around for a friend, and I downloaded Catcha Mouse and now I’m TOTALLY addicted. I knew this would happen.

Stitcher Radio

Um, excuse me? Can I be the world’s biggest nerd for a sec? Thanks. OK, so stitcher radio streams NPR and other stations, lets you personalize your settings, and is all-around really neat-o!!

It has changed my life and I actually take public transportation more now that I can listen to my programs!

Pocket First Aid & CPR - $3.99

This is the first app developed by the American Heart Association. It’s a pretty big app (65MB) so you should download it using iTunes or Wi-Fi. The app includes video and detailed instructions on how to respond in critical situations, including choking, CPR, seizures, bruises, cuts and wounds, and more. The best part is that once installed, the app works even where there isn’t any cell service.

RunPee - $.99

The worst part about going to the movies is those giant drinks they give you. Inevitably half way through the movie you need to use the bathroom. You have two choices: sit and squirm or miss some of the movie. RunPee tells you when it’s okay to get up for a bathroom break. Now you won’t have to miss any of the good parts!

SwedeShop - $.99

SwedeShop is a virtual shopping list custom built for IKEA. Shopaholics everywhere rejoice! Record the item you want to buy at the end and its location, then at the end, the app sorts the warehouse locations so you can map out an easy route to your goods.

Lightsaber App

I. Am. A. Jedi.

Bento - $4.99

Bento, from Filemaker Inc. is a mobile version of their Mac only database program of the same name. You can make your own libraries from scratch you can use one of the 25 templates included to store recipes, keep a diet log, inventory your home, or organize your class schedule, etc.

Con: Without the Mac app, there is no way to back up the data.

Local Concerts - Free

Never again miss out on a really cool band. With the Local Concerts app, your phones uses its GPS to track all of the concerts going on in your area.