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Summer's Best Pool Toys
- by karey_ann
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- June 08, 2009
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Summer time! You know what that means: bad Will Smith songs (isn't that redundant?) and all sorts of crazy fun at the pool! There is a dark side to some of those pieces of inflatable goodness - here is your guide to awesome, and kind of disturbing, pool toys!
Pool Noodles
Noodles - for kids
Ah, perennial pool noodles. I don’t know who invented these or if, on the whole, they have been good for society, but they’re everywhere, and they’re multi-colored.
Noodles - for adults
Yup, you knew someone had done it.
Noodles Are Also Known As "Water Logs"
Seriously, BOTH names for these things have to bring up floppy phallic visuals?
The Boat House
The Boat House
Dude, WTF is this thing?
This is the kind of thing your rich 2nd grade friend had that made you realize the world wasn’t fair but then he grew up thinking he was special and that he should only expect only great things and became a cokehead and flunked out of Dartmouth and now works for Enterprise Car rentals and then you thought, “wait, maybe life is kind of fair”.
Wha . . .? Anyway, the Boat House. Looks like fun.
Toothpick
Toothpick
Yeah, a toothpick.
Instead of hanging out with Brad up there in the Boat House, my brothers and I played “the toothpick game” which entails one person jumping off the side of the pool with a toothpick in his hand and then letting it go somewhere under the water.
Then everyone stands around the side of the pool waiting to see it coming up through the water.
First one to jump in and grab it gets to be the one to jump in with it next time.
Simple. Mildly dangerous. Just like a good childhood should be.
Supersoaker
“Here, Bobby. Here is an exact plastic replica of an automatic firearm.
Have fun in the pool and feel free to shoot the s**t out of your younger sister. Just make sure she doesn’t drown – you remember the CPR I taught you, right? Good.
I’m going to the salon, I’ll be back at 4pm."
Wondering if this is very much like the pep talk my Mom gave my older brother in summer days long past . . .
Albany Pool
1311 Portland Ave, Albany, CA 94706
No pool of your own? Truck your toys over to this community pool.
No pool of your own? Truck your toys over to this community pool.
Leslie's Swimming Pool Supplies
15100 Hesperian Blvd, San Leandro, CA 94578
Lots of fun toys for the pool here.
May I make a suggestion if you have kids – leave them at home while you do the summer shopping. They’ll want everything here!
Lots of fun toys for the pool here.
May I make a suggestion if you have kids – leave them at home while you do the summer shopping. They’ll want everything here!
Garden Lights Landscape Development Inc
1 Northwood Dr Ste 7, Orinda, CA 94563
These guys promise to make your pool “more than just a hole in the ground.”
And offer water features that will attract “birds, butterflies, and dragonflies.”
So little Bobby can shoot the s**t out of them, too.
These guys promise to make your pool “more than just a hole in the ground.”
And offer water features that will attract “birds, butterflies, and dragonflies.”
So little Bobby can shoot the s**t out of them, too.
Fun Island
Fun Island Variations
Smiley here is creepy yet alluring.
Fun Islands are especially fun for overgrown children who like to play “King of the Mountain”.
Your Basic Lounger
Luxury Lounger
With this one you aren’t even touching the water!
Perfect for peroxide blondes whose hair turns green with the chlorine.
Net Games
Basketball
Buy this for $49.99, watch the kids use it for approx. 49 seconds.
But somehow it stays in the pool for the whole summer so you can avoid admitting purchase FAIL.
Slides
Slides
Why do these always look so much more fun than they really are?
And you keep going up that ladder like this time is going to be better than the last.
Pool slides therefore bear some resemblance to heroin.
Still an all-time favorite however.
I’m guessing your Oakland kids, or you and your adult Oaktown friends, will get their little butts kicked out of this uppity neighborhood pool faster than they can say, “Pass me the Super Soaker 2000”.
Or faster than you can say, “where the f**k did my beer coozy go?”
I’m guessing your Oakland kids, or you and your adult Oaktown friends, will get their little butts kicked out of this uppity neighborhood pool faster than they can say, “Pass me the Super Soaker 2000”.
Or faster than you can say, “where the f**k did my beer coozy go?”
Fun at the Pool
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This guide got me seriously stoked on summer!
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