Quel Frommage: A Cheese Lover's Guide To San Francisco

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I know, I know – Human beings are not logically supposed to consume the milk of another mammal. It makes perfect sense. And once I gave up drinking milk in college, my body developed a disconcerting inability to digest it. But there’s nothing any health-conscious bohemian could ever say to scare me away from cheese. It’s the most satisfying and sophisticated vehicle for proudly consuming pure fat. In the words of the great Clifton Fadiman, cheese is “[m]ilk’s leap toward immortality.”

Cheese Plus

2001 Polk St, San Francisco, CA 94109

This is one of those cute little places where the guy behind the counter will let you try millions of samples of really expensive cheese, wash it all down with a candycap mushroom cookie, and then leave without buying a thing. And you know what? It works! I keep going back here, despite the price. . . The sandwiches (which, incidentally take about 20 minutes to make) are also well worth it.

This is one of those cute little places where the guy behind the counter will let you try millions of samples of really expensive cheese, wash it all down with a candycap mushroom cookie, and then leave without buying a thing. And you know what? It works! I keep going back here, despite the price. . . The sandwiches (which, incidentally take about 20 minutes to make) are also well worth it.

Cheese Boutique

666 Chenery St, San Francisco, CA 94131

Lots of free samples. And hummus that’s worth the trip.

Lots of free samples. And hummus that’s worth the trip.

Lucca Delicatessen

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Lucca Delicatessen

2120 Chestnut St, San Francisco, CA 94123

A modest little Italian food shop. Cute and delicious to smell. I’d pay $5.95 for a single serving of their frozen cheese lasagna…

A modest little Italian food shop. Cute and delicious to smell. I’d pay $5.95 for a single serving of their frozen cheese lasagna…

“How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese?”

—Charles de Gaulle

The Face Of A Grilled Cheese Addict

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Stick to a tomato soup and grilled cheese, and you’ll be happy, even at these kinda prices. Perfect rainy day comfort food.

Stick to a tomato soup and grilled cheese, and you’ll be happy, even at these kinda prices. Perfect rainy day comfort food.

Best On A Rainy Day

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Mel's Drive In No 3

1050 Van Ness Ave, San Francisco, CA 94109

There’s pretty much nothing better than a Mel’s grilled cheese smothered in ketchup at 1am.

There’s pretty much nothing better than a Mel’s grilled cheese smothered in ketchup at 1am.

 

Cheese School Of San Francisco

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They’re in cahoots with Cheese Plus, but the good kind of cahoots. (photo: William Brand)

These classes have a huge waiting list, so plan ahead. I’m still pining to sign up for a class. You’d be surprised how many people you can recruit to take a $60 cheese course.

These classes have a huge waiting list, so plan ahead. I’m still pining to sign up for a class. You’d be surprised how many people you can recruit to take a $60 cheese course.

Castro Cheesery

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Be that jerk who brings a hunk of Limburger into the theater.

Castro Cheesery

427 Castro St, San Francisco, CA 94114

Tiny place even better known for their coffee…

Tiny place even better known for their coffee…

"Swiss cheese is a rip-off. It’s the only cheese I can bite into and miss."

—Mitch Hedberg


Cowgirl Creamery

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www.man’oa.com

Don’t go during the farmer’s market on Saturday! But do go some other time. This is another one of those places that will let you taste lots of little samples and ask a million questions.

Don’t go during the farmer’s market on Saturday! But do go some other time. This is another one of those places that will let you taste lots of little samples and ask a million questions.

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(photo: LaughParty.com)

For Grilled Cheese Fans

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24th St Cheese Company

3893 24th Street San Francisco, CA 94114

This place even hosts a grilled chese CONTEST.

Blue Barn

2105 Chestnut St San Francisco, CA 94123

You won’t feel like a jerk for ordering the gourmet grilled cheese here.

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