How to be a GOSSIP GIRL in NYC

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There's something about Gossip Girl that is just so ridiculously enticing. I can't help myself but their selfish, lude, and inappropriate behavior makes me feel like breaking all of the rules. It's very rarely that I get emotionally involved in TV shows (unless it's Grey's Anatomy) but this time, I'm totally hooked. Embarrassing....I'm a grown adult woman swooning over the fake lives of spoiled Upper East Sider's. God I love television..... Now this guide should be used carefully, using the flawed characteristics of Gossip Girl seriously when you're in high school is dangerous... But hey, it's always fun to play!

Age ain't nothin' but a number, baby.

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Don't act your age

One of the very essential key points to pulling off GG status is to take your age and double it. The kids of GG are not children, they are wise old owls. Or so they think. They at least like to act like they are and therefor their actions are not age appropriate either. Acting 17 if you’re 17 or 22 when you’re 22 is GG suicide. Always shoot for early thirties….the ladies of GG could give them women of Sex and the City a run for their money, they aren’t playing around.

You need to have a whore-y past

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One of the key factors into Serena’s “sparkling” personality has a little bit to do with the fact that she knows EXACTLY how and who to work when she’s in a room full of people. In her past, that meant physically….even if it were your friend’s boyfriend (may I mention that I strongly discourage this is you’d like to continue having friends.) Part of the whole GG CHARM is giving off the impression that you’re a good girl, but really being a bad girl. Or at least, you were a bad girl.

4 WORDS: Skeletons in the closet

Optional skeletons that you should/could add to your closet if it looks a bit empty:

1. Theft.
2. Sex tapes
3. A murder
4. Alcohol problems
5. Nude photos for sale
6. Embezzlement
7. Adultery
8. Time spent in an asylum

California Closet Co Inc

1625 York Ave, New York, NY 10028

You may want to think about reorganizing some things to make room for the extra bodies.

You may want to think about reorganizing some things to make room for the extra bodies.

ONE WORD: Blackmail

USE IT.

You need an entourage

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Gossiping can not be done affectively without a gaggle of people to gossip to. One of the main struggles in the show is making sure that you always have ENOUGH people in your corner to keep you on top of the world. Like Blair, you’ll need followers to boost your ego, tell you you’re right, follow your fashion trends, and help you spread your vicious little tales.

Walk and Talk Therapy

19 West. 34th St. New York, NY 10001

We could all use a little therapy, the people of GG- could use a lot. Walk and talk therapy is exactly that, you walk and you talk at the same time…walk it out, clear your head, whine about your unattentive parents and your disloyal friends.

You need to have relationships with older women

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This could also be translated to: You Need a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Momma. Nate was technically whoring himself out to make sure he could keep surviving financially…..finding a sugar daddy/momma isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just get’s a little sticky when that suagr momma/daddy is one of your friends ACTUAL daddy’s/momma’s.

Perfect your SULKING skills

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Gossip Girls don’t deal well with not getting their way, they throw fits, they stomp their feat, they retreat to their bedrooms and they SULK. Learning to sulk without being hateable and using it as manipulation to eventually get what you want is VERY important. It’ll take a few failed attempts to get it right so, start sulking.

Be a Gossip Girl in NYC

Oscar Blandi Salon

746 Madison Ave Fl 2, New York, NY 10065

If you’re running around with the elite, you have to look ELITE. NO haggared sweatpants and split ends.

If you’re running around with the elite, you have to look ELITE. NO haggared sweatpants and split ends.

 

Become a SKILLED text messager

Communicating in Gossip Girl is done in two ways; text messaging and getting physical. Even if you are going to make a phone call, it must have an initial text lead up, to the phone call. Which is then followed with a follow-up text. It’s like the period on the end of the sentence. I’ve also noticed that they MUST be using predictive text, because they press three buttons and they have an entire paragraph….or their fingers move at the speed of Hollywood light. Either way, learning to text and text quickly while also using the text LINGO is imperative.

Here’s some basics:

Tonight= 2nite.

Forever= 4ever.

As I said before= AISB

All my Love= AML

Because= B/C

Bye for now= B4N

Bad ass Mother f**ker= BAMF

Been there done that= BTDT

Google it= GI

You get the idea…..










Tekserve Corp.

119 W 23rd St Frnt 1, New York, NY 10011

You’re going to be using this thing A LOT if you follow GG rules, so you may want to make friends with the nice people at Tekserve, so when you lose important information, break a cell phone, need to restore pictures worthy of blackmailing etc, they can help you out.

You’re going to be using this thing A LOT if you follow GG rules, so you may want to make friends with the nice people at Tekserve, so when you lose important information, break a cell phone, need to restore pictures worthy of blackmailing etc, they can help you out.

One of your friends needs to be a TOTAL D-bag

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A lot of us have that one friend who is just ridiculously unlikeable, no one like them but you and you’re friends with them anyway. Well, that’s Chuck Bass. There are however certain things to consider when picking your D-BAG friend, for instance even though Chuck is in fact D-BAG material, he’s often a good guy to have in your corner. Here are some important things your D-BAG friend will need:

1. Connections- then you can run to your d-bag when you’re in a bind.
2. Money- then you can run to your d-bag friend when you’re in a bind.
3. A full liquor cabinet- then you can run to your d-bag friend when you’re having a sh*tty day.
4.A little black book full of people to distract you with when you just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Rugby by Ralph Lauren

99 University Pl Frnt 1, New York, NY 10003

Your D-bag needs to DRESS like a d-bag, which means straight preppy gear from head to toe. Plaid, checkers, salmon colored pants…all of that good stuff.

Your D-bag needs to DRESS like a d-bag, which means straight preppy gear from head to toe. Plaid, checkers, salmon colored pants…all of that good stuff.

There's always one friend from your "dark past"

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You need MAJOR "Daddy Issues"

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A consistent theme in the lives of these wealthy Upper East Sider’s has to do with their wealthy Papa’s. Chuck’s issues are that his Father doesn’t give him any attention, Blair’s issues are that her Dad (though he’s a sweet man- to quote her) is never around, Serena’s issues…..wait, where IS Serena’s Dad? and clearly from this season we’ve seen little Jenny Humphrey encounter quite a few power struggles with her big Papa.

Tory Burch

257 Elizabeth St, New York, NY 10012

If you’re looking for a rich woman, you’re going to have to go somewhere where the women are actually SPENDING money.

If you’re looking for a rich woman, you’re going to have to go somewhere where the women are actually SPENDING money.

You need somewhere to have your illicit affair

The Carlyle, A Rosewood Hotel

35 East 76th Street, New York, NY 10075

A timeless classic, The Carlyle, A Rosewood Hotel, has been called home by leaders in world affairs, business, society entertainment and the arts since its debut in 1930. Brilliantly positioned on Madison Avenue, it is a true New York landmark - a showcase of great art, a purveyor of privacy and a sa... more »
A timeless classic, The Carlyle, A Rosewood Hotel, has been called home by leaders in world affairs, business, society entertainment and the arts since its debut in 1930. Brilliantly positioned on Madison Avenue, it is a true New York landmark - a showcase of great art, a purveyor of privacy and a santuary of refined taste. Guests fell truly ensconced in an elegant private residental atmosphere, which includes a discreet and polished staff as well as world-class dining and entertainment. The Carlyle is b

YOU NEED FRIENDS WITH STATUS

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The ladies of Gossip Girl have a few things right- they know that to get ahead, they’ve got to know the right people. That’s life. So parading around town with people who’s names appear in Page Six or New York Magazine, isn’t a bad idea. Socialites, famous people’s kids, young entrepreneurs, these are ALL good. It’s all about HOBNOBBING. Once you’re seen with the “right people” you’re in.

It's all about: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

Finally, TRY to keep it classy:

In the words of Blair Waldorf:

“I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me.”

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About The Author

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chelsea Rss 

Manhattan, New York
Writer. Coast Hopper. Perpetual Dreamer and Achiever. Student of life and Manhattan adventuress... And just in case you're wondering, gangsta rap made me do it.

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