B.A.D. Girls Roller Derby
Short skirts, purple bruises, provocative names, bloodied fists, and screaming crowds. What better sport is there than Roller Derby? These girls are not driven by a big paycheck. They skate (and get hurt) for the love of the sport. If you've never experienced the derby up close, get your ass over to a bout and prepare to fall in love.
So what is Roller Derby?
The rules are actually pretty simple. Just score more points than those bitches on the other team.
Each group consists of one pack on the track. The packs have three blockers (defense), one pivot (last line of defense) and one jammer (scorer). The point is to get the jammer to lap the other pack. Each lap equals one point. The objective of the blockers and the pivot is to stop the other jammer while protecting their own.
Oakland Outlaws
Led by Taxi Scab and Kitt Turbo the Outlaws are out for blood.
They have a history of pushing the envelope in Oakland and trying to ruffle Mayor Dellums’ feathers (although the Mayor remains mute). Even Oakland’s police are scared of the outlaws. In response to a threatening press release left on the Oakland docks, Chief Diss could barely string together this sentence:
“Ask any shell game rat where their junk sprang and they’ll say they piped it from that who scored it from this who bought it off so and after four or five connections the list always ends with the Outlaws.”
For more info and to be their friend go to the team’s personal page.
Summer B.A.D Girls Summer Schedule
Plan your summer around this schedule.
May 16 & 17 – B.A.D. Plan B @ The Big One Tournament @ L.A.
May 30 – Wrecking Belles vs. Battle Born Derby Demons @ Reno
June 13 – ShEvil Dead vs Oakland Outlaws
June 20 – B.A.D. Plan B vs Central Coast Roller Derby @ Central Coast
July 11 – ShEvil Dead vs. Wrecking Belles
July 17 – B.A.D. Girls Mud Wrestling Mid-Season Fund Raiser @ Cell Space
July 29 – August 3 – ROLLERCON in Las Vegas!
August 8 – B.A.D. Double Header – WFTDA Bout: B.A.D. Girls Allstars vs. Rose City Rollers
August 29 – B.A.D. Girls Plan B vs. Sonoma County Roller Girls @ Sonoma
September 6 – B.A.D. Girls All-Stars vs. Texas Roller Girls @ Austin
Yoo Hoo!
Derby Girls are full of smiles. Even if they seem intimidating, mean, scary, and insane, they probably won’t break your arm if you ask for an autograph.
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Spelling Bees can be hardcore. Probably won’t be any blood, but it’s still hardcore.
Everything and anything you could ever want to know about the Bay Area Derby Girls (aside from their home phone numbers).
S.F. ShEvil Dead
Led by Sassy Slayer and Miss Moxxxie, this is my personal favorite team. I never knew zombies could be so coordinated.
Their self-written mission statement goes something like:
After climbing through the rotting flesh of a cemetary in Daly City, the ShEvil Dead found themselves standing on a rink, in front of thousands of cheering fans. They’re yearning to fulfill their promises to their newfound destiny by meeting, competing, beating and eating their opponents.
For more info and to be their friend go to the team’s personal page.
Richmond Wrecking Belles
Led by Liza Machete and Racey Lane the Wrecking Belles will stomp your face with their shiny ball bearings.
The Wrecking Belles history expands all the way past every war ever fought anywhere. With so much wrecking experience under their short skirts the team will lay waste to any derby momma who dares to meet them on the line.
For more info and to be their friend go to the team’s personal page
Derbies Are Always Gentle
and by gentle I mean you’ll probably lose an eye.
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Eyeing the Jammer
Taking a cue from the ShEvil Dead, the jammer was beaten and eaten shortly after this picture was taken.
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Where the shit goes down.
Where the shit goes down.
After being sprayed with blood and sweat, head over to the Horseshoe to wipe it off with beer.
After being sprayed with blood and sweat, head over to the Horseshoe to wipe it off with beer.
CELLspace
2050 Bryant St. San Francisco, CA 94110
Come out for the mud wrestling and support the B.A.D.
Whatever Seattle… You’re definitely no Bay Area.
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Past: I left Montana in the summer. I couldn't wait to get to San Francisco.
Future: I left San Francisco in the fall. I couldn't wait to get to Montana.
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