Bartending Dreams in The Big Apple

It all started when...

Actually, I don’t remember the first time the idea to dabble in bartending popped into my head. These things just happen! Spontaneously. But a trip to Montreal in college did spur me on. Hey, let’s go to Montreal!, I said to my friends as I planned a road trip and activities. Well, this one day there it RAINED for hours and we didn’t have umbrellas, so we ducked into a large bookstore and read coffee table books, one of which was all on mixed drinks in beers. Was it the glossy photos? The names? (gin fizz, amaretto sour, tequila sunrise). I don’t know, but I was sold!
It helped that the drinking age in Canada is 18 and we ordered martinis, Manhattans and something called Planter’s Punch at the casino bar. The ball began to roll…

Back to School!

I’m sure you could hone your skills outside of the “classroom” (school) and out in the real world (bar), but you can at least get your feet wet in bartending school and learn the basics along with everybody else. There are schedules to accommodate your own and hopefully you won’t be getting instructors akin to those at Drivers’ Ed or some of those Gotham writing workshops around town. Hopefully they are good bartenders who took a liking to teaching?

A Few Good Reads

*Guest-Bartending*

Or what I like to call, “Pretend Bartending.” In fact, the name of our Facebook event is “_____and Alicia Pretend to be Bartenders.” I’ve mixed up cocktails at home, like my favorite gin & soda, pomegranate raspberry margaritas, and the fruity Century. But save for the first, all of my drink-mixing occurred huddled over a recipe or cookbook, involved careful measuring and pouring and taste-testing. NOT at all like it will be at a real bar. How will my diligent Susie homemaker self keep up?!?
I will report back on Friday regarding how it goes. In the mean time, the following bars in New York offer guest-bartending opportunities. Meaning, you don’t have to have ANY bartending or even drink-mixing experience going into it. AND, you get to keep tips!

My Favorite Bar Joke

Actually, it’s the only bar joke I know. Furthermore, it’s the only joke that I half-butcher instead of completely tanking. I am a horrible joke teller. Horrible! I think about the punch line about halfway through, then start laughing, then forget where I was in the joke. Then it’s a really sad attempt at figuring out what to do next before I throw up my hands and say, “I can’t tell jokes!” This one I stumbled upon online in college, and I used to tell it (by reading it off the computer…and I STILL messed it up!) to my good friend.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda gets up to leave, the bartender yells, “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”
The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”
The bartender takes out his dictionary (wait, why is that there? Okay, n/m) and sees the following definition for panda:
“A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

I survived!

I have now officially bartended in New York City! I did punch $1000 instead of $10.00 into the cash register within the first ten minutes. Hahahahaha. Whoops!