Understanding The Barefoot Contessa

The BFC - An Overview

She started by running a specialty food store named after an old Humphrey Bogart movie.

The Zip Code

Her Food Network cooking show runs out of her home in the East Hamptons, where she prepares to host high-brow parties.

The Cuisine

Be sure to take your blood pressure medication before heading to dinner at the BFC’s. One breath of that kitchen air will turn your lungs to Crisco. Ms. Garten has a reputation for making decadent cakes and rich entrees. She is all about quality ingredients, and butter is definitely one of those ingredients.

Best Supporting Actor

A rotating cast of white collar Hamptons characters is constantly turning up to Ina’s dinner parties. My favorite is her husband, Jeffrey, who is some kind of tweed suit-wearing econ professor, who is always scampering home from New York City to eat Ina’s roasted chicken.

Though Jeffrey seems to love food, he’s a real Mr. Magoo in the kitchen, and couldn’t even tell you what a cucumber looks like.

The Friends

Then, of course, there are the BFC’s friends from the Hamptons’ Glitterati, who are always coming over to make flower arrangements or take photographs of her souffles.

New Day, Same Pose

Whether she’s talking about tomatoes or her 25th wedding anniversary, the BFC always speaks with the same bland tone. You could tell her someone just developed an alternative fuel source, and she’d reply as if you’d told her you just changed a lightbulb.
Signature deadpan phrases include:

“Mmm.”
“Not bad.”
“Delicious.”
“How bad can that be?”
“I can’t wait.”

Sometimes, on a special occasion, the BFC will get worked up about her linen collection.

Here she is in the Spring

Summer...

Fall...

...And Winter

I wonder what she has on under that coat.