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How to Make Lots of Money Playing Bar Trivia
- by elguapo
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- April 29, 2009
(5)
- 8 discussions
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Are you unemployed? Do you like to get drunk and watch Jeopardy? If so, I have the perfect side job for you. Here are eight fool-proof tips on how to make lots of money playing Bar Trivia.
Tip # 1: Assembling Your Team
Don’t go with people who know all the same stuff you know.
For instance, If you work at a record store and you go with the four other music geeks from your store, sure you’ll dominate the music and comic book round, but do you think you can answer who won the Stanley Cup in 1987? No!
You need DIVERSITY. You know, people with different backgrounds. In short, to have a chance at winning, your team should resemble the average college brochure cover.
As a rule of thumb, with a team of four, the standard breakdown should be as follows:
The English Major
“Make it rain, bitches”
There are always one or two lame literature questions in every trivia night. You’ll need an Eng. Lit major to answer these stupid questions.
To find said English major go to any Starbucks and ask one of the Baristas to join your squad.
The Meathead/Jocktard
good for sports questions (and potential NERD bashings)
Tip #2: Choosing Your Team Name
Some people prefer to stay classy with the team names. I say screw that. Your team name should elicit boos, dirty looks and general scorn from the crowd.
And if you are going to go the classless route, I recommend you go to a bar that offers free shots for the best team name. When you can’t be the smartest, sometimes it pays to be the raunchiest.
If you can’t think of a good team name, feel free to use one of my favorites, “the Pediatric Gynecologists” as your fallback.
Tip #3 Bone up on Greek Mythology
For some reason there is always a question on Greek mythology. Learn this crap. It will pay off in the long run.
Tip #4 Channel the wisdom of Alex Trabek's Mustache
Missing since 2002. If you’ve seen it, please alert the authorities.
Tip #6 Don't go to a bar where the first place prize is half off your tab
This can be dangerous for obvious reasons…
The common situation is you’re in the lead for most of the night so you start drinking heavily to “maximize your projected winnings”.
What usually occurs: some nerdsquad eeks out a final round victory leaving you with nothing to show for your phenomenal efforts except a humongous bar tab and a Wednesday morning hangover.
Tip # 7 CHEAT SHEET!!!
When in doubt…
With science questions…Go with the Pituitary gland
With history questions….go with the Spanish-American War
With sports and pop culture….go with Joe Montana or Joe Mantegna
With men’s facial hair questions….the answer is generally, Alex Trabek’s mustache
Harrigan's
2816 N Halsted St, Chicago, IL 60657
1st Place
The Best Trivia in Chicago, hands down. Unique questions, a physical challenge round that involves anything from Pac-man to Rock Paper Scissors, staring contests or chugging beer from a straw.
The best part is the “Get to know your bartender” question where they ask an embarrassing question about Sam, the bartender. Past questions have included:
What is the oldest woman Sam has ever made out with?
What was Sam’s freshman year GPA?
What is the size of one of Sam nipples?
Answers: 48; 1.22; silver dollar
1st Place
The Best Trivia in Chicago, hands down. Unique questions, a physical challenge round that involves anything from Pac-man to Rock Paper Scissors, staring contests or chugging beer from a straw.
The best part is the “Get to know your bartender” question where they ask an embarrassing question about Sam, the bartender. Past questions have included:
What is the oldest woman Sam has ever made out with?
What was Sam’s freshman year GPA?
What is the size of one of Sam nipples?
Answers: 48; 1.22; silver dollar
Paddy Longs
3rd Place
Like Harrigan’s but with Smart Nerds.
Paddy Long’s is like Harrigan’s but just not as cool or as fun. They use the same trivia questions here on Tuesday that they use at Harrigan’s on Wednesday. The only difference is that the people here are WAAAAAY smarter and they ixnay on the physical challenge round. Boo Paddy Long’s. Come here only if you want to get humiliated by trivia geek dungeon masters.
State Restaurant & Cafe
935 W Webster Ave, Chicago, IL 60614
5th Place
This is a meat market disguised as a bar trivia night. The bar itself is kind of douchey, but they offer a cash prize of $800 to the winning team, which helps pack the place with about 400 people every Wednesday for team trivia. Stiff competition though…
Be prepared to walk away empty handed.
5th Place
This is a meat market disguised as a bar trivia night. The bar itself is kind of douchey, but they offer a cash prize of $800 to the winning team, which helps pack the place with about 400 people every Wednesday for team trivia. Stiff competition though…
Be prepared to walk away empty handed.
DIVERSITY!!!!!!!!
We go to College!!! Diversity Rules!!! Yeah!!!!!
The Geography Wiz
Do you know the capital of Djibouti? Didn’t think so, but the geography wiz does. Find this person at your local cartography store or inside your Macintosh 2C+ computer circa 1987.
The Forty Year Old Dude
Here’s a secret. Most of trivia has nothing to do with being smart. It has more to do with just having lived through most of the crap they are asking questions about. Find an old guy to join your team. He’ll know all the crap you don’t know about the 60s and 70s
Future Captain of the Pediatric Gynecologists
Brazilliant!!
Greek Mythology 101
Beer Pong gives you Herpes. Turns out this one’s a myth. It just gives you babies.
Tip #5 Turn your cell off dude, nobody likes a cheater
There’s nothing lower than a person who cheats at bar trivia. Maybe a person who clubs baby seals that’s about it.
Tip # 8: The Top 5 Bar Trivia Nights in Chicago
If you’re in Chicago, go to these bars for trivia.
Good Trivia Night Bars in Chicago
Mad River Bar & Grille
2909 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago, IL 60657
2nd Place
Three reasons to go:
(1) First Prize is $100.
(2) The guy, Joby, who MCs does a good Christopher Walken impression.
(3) Most importantly, the half-price chicken quesadillas are out of this world.
2nd Place
Three reasons to go:
(1) First Prize is $100.
(2) The guy, Joby, who MCs does a good Christopher Walken impression.
(3) Most importantly, the half-price chicken quesadillas are out of this world.
Durkins
810 W Diversey Pkwy, Chicago, IL 60614
4th Place
This bar is generally pretty douchey. And guess what? Trivia night is no exception. The trivia questions here are pretty simple so as not to confuse the meathead crowd that frequents this bar.
If you come here and you are halfway not retarded, you’ll probably pick up first place and get half off your tab.
4th Place
This bar is generally pretty douchey. And guess what? Trivia night is no exception. The trivia questions here are pretty simple so as not to confuse the meathead crowd that frequents this bar.
If you come here and you are halfway not retarded, you’ll probably pick up first place and get half off your tab.
More Helpful Guides on how to make $$$$money$$$$
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Good one, donkey lips
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Durkins?! More like Dorkins!! Hayooooo.
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I want to start using the word “Brazilliant” but I’m not sure how or for what effect. Can aliciak pull it off? (Say yes say yes!)
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