I forget exactly why I was here, but I do remember reading some of the headstones and grave markers of the animals and thinking to myself, “God, people name their pets some f’d up names. Popozao? Isn’t that… isn’t that ‘Ass Shaker’ in Portuguese?”

After dating my girlfriend for three months, she casually invited me to go to the pet cemetery to see her cat being interred. When I arrived, I was amazed to see a full fledged mortuary replete with pet-sized caskets and viewing rooms where tearful owners bid their pets a final goodbye. I was even more surprised to see that my girlfriend’s family had buried over seven of their dogs and cats there over the years at a substantial financial investment for each ceremony.

In hindsight, knowing their great reverence for their deceased animal companions, I should’ve been a little bit more tight lipped about the traditional Korean way of disposing of dead pets: throwing them into the dumpster haphazardly with a minimum of pomp and circumstance. Lots of reproachful looks from my future mother in law after that story.

Billed as “the ultimate mobile pet spa”, Dog Spa offers such services as aromatherapy, medicated soaks and paw balming. This is apparently done at your home to provide a familiar environment for your pet, supposedly decreasing their anxiety of being poked and prodded all in the name of beauty.

A self described country club for dogs, Paradise Ranch is a non traditional kennel that is cage free and boasts such amenities as koi ponds, beds for all canine guests and grooming. Plus, as a former resident of Sun Valley, I think it’s quite the black comedy that while the streets of that fine city are littered with meth-addled junkies, dogs up the street are getting the country club treatment. Isn’t it ironic?

I like how Beverly Hills plays out prominently in the business name and yet the address lists West Hollywood as the city. Totally LA.