Categories: Shopping; Humor

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ZZ Top's Guide on How to Be a Sharp Dressed Man

Allegedly, every girl is crazy for a sharp dressed man. The enbearded troubadours give a pretty clear step by step break down on what you need to hone your wardrobe to a keen edge. But where in the Bay Area can you find all of these things? I've got you covered.

Clean Shirt

Sunshine Cleaners & Alterations

1171 Homestead Rd, Santa Clara, CA 95050

One of the best dry cleaners I’ve ever used. Fast service and super friendly. You want to look your best? This is how you do it.

One of the best dry cleaners I’ve ever used. Fast service and super friendly. You want to look your best? This is how you do it.

New Shoes

Converse Outlet

2200 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma, CA 94952

I loves my Convees. This is where I get them. For such cheap shoes, they’re mighty expensive, so I get them from the outlet.

And I don't know where I am goin' to.

Sign Post

Silk Suit, Black Tie

Brooks Brothers

383 Stanford Shopping Ct, Palo Alto, CA 94304

Classy place for a classy suit. You wont wow the ladies with a suit from Target.

Classy place for a classy suit. You wont wow the ladies with a suit from Target.

I don't need a reason why.

They Come Running Just as Fast as They Can...

...coz every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.

Gold Watch, Diamond Ring

The Shane Company

2530 N Main St, Walnut Creek, CA 94597

Now YOU have a friend in the Gold Watch, Diamond Ring business!

I ain't missin' a single thing.

Esquire Style Guide

The other authority on how to be a sharp dressed man.

Where to Find What You're Looking For

Keys to the magic roadster not included.

Jack Passion: King of the Cowboy Fashion

Only one man’s beard rivals that of ZZ Top. The man, the myth, the long flowing beard, Jack Passion holds the distinction of officially having the world’s longest beard and being my former boss.

 

Sharp Dressed Man

You don’t need the keys to a magic roadster to make a good impression on the ladies…but it helps.

And Cufflinks, Stick Pin

Brand X Antiques

570 Castro St, San Francisco, CA 94114

Why look classy when you can look CLASSICALLY classy? Nice!

Why look classy when you can look CLASSICALLY classy? Nice!

When I step out I'm gonna do you in.

They come runnin' just as fast as they can...

Coz every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.

Top Coat, Top Hat

Misdirections Magic Shop

1236 9th Ave, San Francisco, CA 94122

Everyone knows that the magicians have the best top hats, and Misdirections is the BEST magic shop in San Francisco. They have a lot of great pro illusions, in addition to the trick gum and nail through a coin for all the amatures. Remember, they’re called “illusions.” A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy.

Everyone knows that the magicians have the best top hats, and Misdirections is the BEST magic shop in San Francisco. They have a lot of great pro illusions, in addition to the trick gum and nail through a coin for all the amatures. Remember, they’re called “illusions.” A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy.

I don't worry coz my wallet's fat.

Wallet

Black Shades

Oakley Inc

1 Stoneridge Mall Rd, Pleasanton, CA 94588

Looking sharp and looking like a surfer does not have to be mutually exclusive. Take Matthew McConaughey…PLEASE!

Looking sharp and looking like a surfer does not have to be mutually exclusive. Take Matthew McConaughey…PLEASE!

White Gloves

Benton Medical

2636 Bayshore Pkwy, Mountain View, CA 94043

I don’t know why you need surgical gloves to be a sharp dressed man, but ZZ Top put it in the song, and you don’t argue with ZZ Top.

I don’t know why you need surgical gloves to be a sharp dressed man, but ZZ Top put it in the song, and you don’t argue with ZZ Top.

Lookin' sharp and lookin' for love.

They come runnin' just as fast as they can...

Coz every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.

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