Categories: Local & Entertainment; Humor

As seen on THE KARDASHIAN'S in Los Angeles

By Chelsea
updated 2 months ago

The first pioneers of this whole "celebrity family with foul mouths" thing were The Osbourne's. Never before did we think we could love such trash talking teenagers and inappropriate behavior. The reason we could deal with it? Because at the end of the day, they really, truly, loved each other more than most families. Then, comes along Keeping Up With The Kadashian's, the mix-matched family and kids of the late Robert Kardashian (former O.J. Simpson lawyer.) Reality shows are always interesting when you've got beautiful women, the F bomb, and a pile of cash to burn up all over the city.....this, is where they're paintin' the town. Check it.

Kim Kardashian

Kim, though some say she is the most beautiful one is also probably the most tame. I suppose that happens when you’re gorgeous, you aren’t begging for attention. With that being said, she is also the only one who has SEX TAPE. That’s right, what socialite doesn’t make that mistake at some point??? Right? 27 year old Kim used to date R&B singer and brother to singer, Brandy and “somehow leaked a very, very, private and intimate tape.” Mhm. Other than that she’s known for her modeling and unfortunate FORMER friendship with the trashy Paris Hilton. Kim’s mother is also her manager….THAT makes things interesting now doesn’t it.

Their STORE!

Unlike many socialites or kids with rich/famous parents, these ladies actually work. I know, shocking right? And also very admirable, since they probably don’t NEED to work. Not only do they work, they own and operate a top end designer store in Calabasas called DASH and a childrens boutique called Smooch that their mother Kris owns with them as well.

If there is one thing that these ladies know, its FASHION. Even on a day where most people would be slumming around the house, they look made up and beautiful from head to toe. Kourtney studied fashion design in college and the other sisters just knew how to rock the look.
All three of the girls have completely different body types, sizes and curves, they always manage to find something that looks incredible on them. Those are the kind of chicks that should be models.

FASHION MAVENS

You know you’re going to be a fashionista when your Mother and Grandmother are know as “staples on Rodeo Dr.” in Beverly Hills. These girls were born into a family that could afford for them to dress to impress at all times. When you watch the show it becomes very clear that they put HOURS of time into their appearance, whether its shopping for it, having perfect eyeliner, curling every inch of their massive thick dark hair, or selling it. Of all reality shows, the Kardashian’s win the gold medal in “fashion icon.”
Most women have a couple of boots or heel that they were when they go “out!” When I say these girls have boots in every shade of brown, black, grey, white, and every texture….I kid you not. I would do anything to raid one of their shoe closets, as a matter of fact…I could LIVE in one of their shoe closets. These aren’t any Payless shoes either; Jimmy Choo, Louboutain, BONGO (Kim happens to be the spokesmodel), among other high end designers….Must be nice.

Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel

7000 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90028

The Hollywood Roosevelt opened in 1927 as the center of all excitement and elegance of early days Hollywood. Recentl...

The Hollywood Roosevelt opened in 1927 as the center of all excitement and elegance of early days Hollywood. Recently restored, the reinvention has delivered the hotel back to glamour and is once again the popular destination of the scene-makers of Hollywood. A Hollywood landmark since 1927, The Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel is reborn with the passion and style of the 1920's, honoring the hotel's past while embracing its future in the new world of Hollywood. Keeping in style with the hotel's Spanish Colonial Revivalist architecture, Dakota, the new Bar and Lounge will take you back to the decadent glamour and style of Hollywood's famed "Golden Era." Centrally located on Hollywood Boulevard and 35 minutes away from LA's beaches, the Hollywood Roosevelt is the perfect place to get your Hollywood fix and base from which to explore Tinseltown.All 300 rooms and suites and public areas have undergone a complete renovation led by acclaimed LA Designer, Dodd Mitchell. The rooms offer stunning city views and scenic views of the Hollywood Hills.Parking is available at $28.00 - We do not have a business center that takes credit cards, and all guest must be 21 or older to check-in.

Sorta like the Brady Bunch....

Let me explain to you the family dynamic shall I?
Kris (now Jenner) formerly Kardashian was married to the late Robert Kardashian, (though we will not fault him for being friends with OJ Simpson, he was apparently an amazing lawyer and great father, moving on) and later went on to marry Olympic athlete, and decathlon winner Bruce Jenner.
Now, when Kris was married to Robert she had, Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Robert Kardashian Jr.

Bruce had two children from his first marriage (much older and have yet to appear on the show), then had two sons from his second marriage, Brody and Brandon. Who later had reality show that BOMBED called Princes of Malibu with their step father, prolific songwriter- David Foster. Though, before the new show Brody had already made himself a quasi celebrity by appearing on The Hills and have a “romance” with Lauren Conrad. Twisty little world…

SO- When Bruce and Kris finally hooked it up they decided to create some spawns of their own, Kylie and Kendall.

All in all there are ten kids. So, sort of like the Brady Bunch, with more money.

Khloe Kardashian

The little sister, 24 and the PERSONALITY of the show. Khloe is the one who is most likely to say something extremely inappropriate for pure shock value or simply, because she doesn’t give a sh*t. With a Republican/conservative step father, she really knows how to push his buttons with sarcastic remarks. And though she has the mouth of a sailor, is quiiiite humorous. Khloe will call Kim out on her selfishness and stares in the camera with a dead pan look, super monotone and cracks a ridiculous statement. Good stuff. Oh, and she’s also the sister who gets a DUI. Ooops?

Dash

4774 Park Granada 5, Calabasas, CA 91302

Many of the scenes in Keeping up with the Kardashian’s are based here, the feuds, the make ups, the boyfriend stress…..sorta like home.

Calabasas, CA

Calabasas is a city in Los Angeles County, California, in the western United States. As of the 2005 census, the city ...

Calabasas is a city in Los Angeles County, California, in the western United States. As of the 2005 census, the city population was 23,123. The city was formally incorporated in 1991. Many parts of Calabasas are mountains or hills, which have spectacular views of the San Fernando Valley. Many of the neighborhoods in Calabasas are gated communities of McMansions.The city is located at the southwestern edge of the San Fernando Valley and comprises a portion of the Santa Monica Mountains. It is bordered by the Woodland Hills area of Los Angeles to the northeast, Topanga to the southeast, Malibu to the south, Agoura Hills to the west, and Hidden Hills to the north. The historic El Camino Real runs east-west through Calabasas as U.S. Route 101.Calabasas funds its own public transportation in the form of shuttle and trolley service (as opposed to using the default Los Angeles County bus service), funds its own library (as opposed to using the County library system), runs its own tennis and swimming center , has a protected and maintained historical district, has its own television channel called "The Calabasas Channel", and has four car dealerships along Calabasas Road. While Calabasas is often times considered similar to its neighboring two cities to the west (Agoura Hills and Westlake Village, which is a trio that can be compared to the Burbank-Glendale-Pasadena area) because of similar demographics, size (physically and population, save Westlake), geography, and low-density general plans, Calabasas is unique from these two for the above things as the two other cities have none of the above features.In February 2006, Calabasas placed a ban on smoking in nearly all public places, including sidewalks, parking lots, patios, and even outdoor balconies in apartment complexes if they were near common areas , making it the city with the strictest anti-smoking laws in the United States. Under the new laws, smoking outside in the city is restricted to selected "smoker outposts." Smoking in undesignated areas under the new law could earn smokers fines of up to $500. The ban went into effect in March 2006, garnering much local and national media attention. The full text of the ordinance may be found at Calabasas' official website on the issue.

I WONDER WHAT THEY EAT???

OK. Now, I find Kim’s body to be a medical mystery. Actually, I find anyone’s body who has an ass, HUGE boobs, and a tiny little, TINY waist to be somewhat of an alien. Though the girls all have different body types they all still have a rack, which is hard to come by-especially if you’re tiny like Kourtney.

On the show you see them working out occasionally and eating a lot of junk food. Cake, cookies, baking, pastries….whatever. Is that what it is thats giving them curves in all the right places? WHO IN THE HECK KNOWS. If someone could do a study on this I’d be seriously grateful.

Until then, here are some spots that you can regularly find the Kardashian sisters frequenting.

KIM DOES PLAYBOY

Obviously, Kim’s body wasn’t a complete mystery if you’ve seen her sex tape. Funny when your Mother is your manager and she’s the phone pushing you to de-robe. If you’re going to get naked for anyone, it should be Playboy so Kim voted yes for it and I have to second that if I had her body, I’d want people to enjoy it’s beauty too. Someday shell be old and it’ll all go south so, may as well freeze the image in time somewhere. The photos are classy and sexamatastic…nice work Hef.

Herve Leger

439 N Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Herve’s dresses are KIMS FAVORITE. Almost every event she attends she is wearing one of the Herve Leger creations. Could be because she looks absolutely smokin’ hot in them. All of the dresses happen to be curve-hugging-friendly. They fit like a glove, a really, really, SNUG, glove.

Christian Audigier

7819 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90046

Christian is the cooler Ed Hardy, which is the cooler Von Dutch….which means Christian won’t be cool for that much longer. I’m waiting for another tattoo inspired clothing line, hopefully Kat Von D will head that one up. ?!

LIKE ANY RESPECTABLE HOLLYWOOD RESIDENT....

THESE LADIES KNOW HOW TO PARTY!
Apparently Kim “doesn’t drink.” I don’t know if she mean, not in public? Or ever? However, that doesn’t prevent these ladies from hitting the town. As you can see, Kourtney and Khloe (remember the DUI) like to go out and “party.” Thankfully we still have yet to come across any Lohan-esque stumbling or passing out in Hollywood nightclubs. These girls remain classy through and through, even when they’re dancing on tables and flaunting the CLEAVE. Where would they where all of their fantastic outfits if they didn’t go out?