There Are No Stupid Questions...Wait. Yes, There Are.

by GillianS 14 contributors - December 04, 2008 + Add To This Guide

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Do you have a job where people constantly ask you dumb questions? Or maybe a haircut or place of origin or religion that lead people to pigeonholing you immediately? The answer is yes, you do. What are the most annoying questions people ask you?

Cold enough for you?

I used to live in Minneapolis, where in the winter it routinely hits below zero Fahrenheit and often way below zero. Its also very true that Minnesotans are “mid-western friendly”. So I realized when someone asked in passing “Cold enough for you?” it was their attempt at idle friendly chit chat. I am not really one for idle chit chat in the first place, but when its F*&^%ing -30 degrees it qualifies as a stupid question. I suppose I could have replied, if I punched you would my fist shatter or would your nose. Just kidding I am not a violent person.

added by PhilHarding 12/04/2008

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Where do you put the moguls in summer?

While working at Winter Park, CO, someone asked me, “Where do you put the moguls in summer?” Enough said….

added by jaywop 03/06/2009

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Winter Park, CO

Why so many stupid questions have to do with skiing, I will never understand.

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"Do you ski?"

I was raised in Colorado, land of majestic mountains and outdoorsy people galore. When I tell people that, they ask “Do you ski?” I guess this is a fair question. No, it really is, but I had some really traumatic experiences when my parents tried to get me to learn to ski, so I get really annoyed by having to say “no” and describe my unfortuante encounters with tree trunks and irate snow-bunnies.

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So, you're from Pakistan?

I used to date a guy who is Korean American. For some reason, he appeared generically Asian, meaning that no one ever knows exactly what his genetic heritage is until they ask. When we would go out for Chinese, the waiter would speak Chinese to him. Sushi, they’d try to take his order in Japanese. Random people would walk up and asked if he spoke Thai. THAI? Once people knew he was Korean, they’d have to ask if he spoke Korean. Not an invalid question, but he’d always answer “yes”, when the truth was closer to “kinda”.

One night, we were at a friend’s house, and a friend of a friend saddled up to him and asked “So, you’re from Pakistan?”. The guy was serious. Not joking around, not messing with anyone. He really thought that my Korean American boyfriend was from Pakistan. I’m not saying that there aren’t East Asian-looking people in Pakistan, but why would Pakistan be the first place that one would guess?

My then-boyfriend didn’t even blink while I was busy picking my jaw up off the floor, and simply answered “No, I’m from Los Angeles.”

added by Andrea D 12/04/2008

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Taschen America Llc

6333 W 3rd St, Los Angeles, CA 90036

Buy a big, fancy, sexy atlas. Strike stupid people with it.

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Is That Chocolate On Your Hand?

So I have a birthmark on my right hand and it’s pretty dark, and pretty noticeable, and I can’t tell you how many times people have asked if it’s chocolate, dirt, or some other kind of stain. First off, it looks like a birthmark, it doesn’t look motor oil or Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup. And second, am do I really seem that dirty/careless/gross that I would walk around with a smudge of chocolate on my hand?? Please. I deserve more credit than that.

added by Elijay 12/04/2008

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"Are you 'good' at yoga?"

I’m sorry folks, but this is a seriously dumb question.

Yoga is a practice. The physical poses are meant to open parts of your body where you’ve stored emotions and other information, and to challenge you in exactly the ways you personally need to be challenged. Asking someone if they are “good” at yoga brings in ego, competition, and draws the mind away from the true practice.

Now, to answer your question: Yes, I am good at yoga. Frickin look at me, I am a goddess for Christsake. Don’t ask me again or I’ll be forced to kick your face in while in Standing Bow.

added by Karey Ann 01/04/2009

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How's The Weather Up There?

Being 6’7", I get all the lame tall questions, this one being my least favorite. Oh, and there’s also the never-ending “Do you play basketball?” Lately I’ve been telling people “Actually, I used to LOVE basketball, but I was recently diagnosed with MS.” Then I limp away.

added by JayFerris 03/03/2009

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Is your hair naturally curly?

“No. I get a frigging PERM. You know, because it’s 1984.”

OK, so that’s really not my reply. And who can blame people for being confused, when some days I do straighten my naturally curly hair?

This question shouldn’t annoy me, but it secretly does. Let’s be realistic here, folks. The fact of the matter is, it’s 2008. WHO is getting perms these days? When the style du jour is either pin straight or beachy waves, and NOT spiral curls?

[Except if you’re the lovely Halle Berry. And I bet no one asks her if her hair is naturally curly.]

added by mswen 12/04/2008

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Ouidad

1230 Montana Ave, Santa Monica, CA 90403

Say “YES!” to your curls and “NO!” to stupid questions. This salon specializes in less than flat locks.

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Are you really blonde?

First, I’m a dark blonde, so my hair doesn’t look dyed. Second, even if I did dye my hair, would I really admit that to someone I didn’t know that well? Third, if that is some kind of “let me watch you undress” thing, it’s not working.

added by leigh 12/04/2008

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Paves Beauty Salon

203 W 7th St, Los Angeles, CA 90014

Does anyone but Ken Paves know what color Jessica Simpson’s hair ought to be? Or how much she actually knows about tuna?

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So, I work here...

…as a brewer. Sometimes I pull some bartending shifts to earn some extra cash.

Now, these 3 tanks in the photo (along with 4 serving vessels, a mash tun, and a brew kettle) are all in plain view of the customers. In fact, they are in the main part of the pub, directly behind the bar. No enclosures, no glass partitions, nothing except a wall about 4 feet high that we need to have there per OSHA’s regulations.

Once a day — guaranteed — someone will say something along the lines of, “Do you brew your own beer here?”, or “Where do you do the brewing?”, or “I didn’t know you brewed your own beer. Is that what all those tanks are for?”

“Funny as it may seem, we just have these big shiny tanks here because using that space for tables would only encourage more customers to show up and gasp sit down and order something, thus potentially increasing our revenue. Why would want that when we could have a copper and stainless steel menagerie on display instead? Oh, and that Brewpub designation in our business name was only put there for shits and giggles.”

Fucking mensas…

added by st_inebrius 12/26/2008

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Bonaventure Brewing Company

404 S Figueroa St Ste 418 A, Los Angeles, CA 90071

I bet people ask the same question here…despite the fact that BREWING COMPANY IS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME.

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Paper Source

9460 Brighton Way, Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Pens, paper and pretty things. Learn to write “YOU ARE STUPID” in calligraphy!

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Bounty H M S Restaurant the

3357 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90010

Cheap vodka sodas.

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What will you do with that?

I bet most of you have gotten this one, in some form:
Me: “I’m doing an English degree, Medieval concentration.”
Relative/Acquaintance (aghast): “What are you going to do with THAT?”
Me: “Um… write?”

And that’s what I do. Full time. See, it worked.

At least I don’t get that any more, since I have a real job. But in college it was all the damn time.

added by leigh 12/04/2008

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I just love that Armenian Pizza...do you?

I have a buddy who is Armenian. When he told my grandma the other night where he is from, she immediately started asking him about Armenian Pizza, and assumed that he knew how to cook it and was an overall expert on the subject, which is kind of funny because he said later that he’d never even had it before…

I could picture my grandma going to LA:

“You’re Mexican” Oh that’s so nice. You must like those Tackos, right?"

Old people are funny.

added by ElGuapo 12/23/2008

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What do we do with mail for people who don't work here?

“Who is it for?” I ask. “Susan Anderson?” “UMMMM HI, THAT’S ME. We’ve only been working together for 6 months and I only have a nameplate hanging at my desk, but hey, no problem”

I have to remember this is the woman who calls the computer, printer, and copier all “the machine.” And that she started in the office with a legit job and got demoted to being the mail person (still making $60k). Ohh how I love the government!

added by Susie 03/04/2009

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I'm a tour guide at my school

I get stupid questions everyday. Do you really want to know how many bathrooms are on campus? and No, I can’t get your lazy kid a job on campus. Today someone came in the admissions office (where i work) and some guy brought in a bottle of coke and told the desk lady “um i bought this coke and the i noticed the seal is messing” she just looked at him and then he left it was awesome. the admissions office is NEXT DOOR a ten foot walk to the left of the information office and people constantly come to us with stupid questions.

added by tashahale 06/09/2009

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About The Author

GillianS

Los Feliz, Los Angeles

Favorite Food: Sashimi Favorite Cocktail: Goldrush Favorite Cheese: Brie Favorite Bar: Open Favorite Film/Dog: Annie Hall Favorite Pastime: Not Getting Pregnant Favorite Fake Band: Alison and the Autistic Lesbians Favorite Spot: G